About Me

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I Misplaced All Of My Umbrellas

Hehe rain, rain go away, come again another day... oh wait, are you even here to stay? Did you fly in from a distant country to visit me, or are you just  visiting from out of state? Darn, I wish I knew. Hehehe where is all the precipitation? Is it in my heart? I love me some rain. It cleans everything away...

Spilled blood, footprints... I wonder...

Does it take all the bodies away, as well? I've never considered it. Where do they go once they've started to glow? Hehehe fly, they fly away like little baby spiders on silky parachutes. Fly! That's what we'll do.

We'll fly away, and we'll own this town, and the rain will pour when we want it to. The baby spiders will dance to our tune.

Hehehehe look at all these wonderful colors we've discovered, I didn't know blood could do that... Ha! Squirt squirt squirt, what a mess!

You know what? I bet I've got a buddy watching out for me. A guardian angel! I mean, who else cleans up after me when I have to run?

Hehe maybe someday I'll find out who takes all of the messes away, who takes the weights away...

I wonder where the bodies go after I'm done with them?


Saturday, July 21, 2012

Love Is The Surest Sign Of Insanity

Off a highway, down a driveway... Limeport Asylum, ladies and gents! Just another building to bust into... Locked away and concealed, blocked off to the average Joe who might possibly stumble across it...

Hehe I swear, they practically invited me in.

Hey Josh, are you upset that I didn't keep away from the happy house?

Well, how should I put this...?


If that upsets you, kiddo... Hehe you can go march around Jericho or something. ;)

In all seriousness though, I do believe that it is, in fact, story time. So grab your reading glasses and your radiation suit so that we can get this post kicked off!

Marked by moonlight, I nonchalantly approached the front entrance of the asylum. The atmosphere of a glowing midnight was deceptively calm. Before arriving, I had considered how I would make my entrance and I decided that the building's security would mostly respond irrationally (Hehe or completely rationally) to an anonymous masked figure appearing from the darkness during the graveyard shift... So, logically, I wore the charming little thing with pride! Satchel at my hip, I ventured into the shadows cast by the Asylum. I like satchels. They're handy! Hehehe.

Getting into the asylum itself was a little messier than I had anticipated, considering the fact that I sort of missed Visiting Hours, but hark, I got in eventually! I had to force a few locks open, dodge some cameras, work some chemical magic, crack a few skulls, and locate an item of interest before I could confidently strut the halls of Limeport. It was mildly challenging, but the hired meat working security presented little opposition  and my miracle recipes helped me to keep things covert and clean. Vanishing Act, Green-Light, Devil's Windex, and a few other special compounds of my own design kept things fresh as a DAISY! Hehehe.

Under other circumstances, I probably would have brought a jar of Party Potion with me to test out, but that recipe is certainly not a tool of subtlety.

Blah blah blah, what was I saying?

I was on my way to Shady's cell when I stumbled across a lone orderly pushing a cart down a dimly lit hallway and decided that now would be a GREAT time to practice my silent takedown. ;)

Pressing myself against the corner of a wall, I waited silently for the man to push the cart closer. He paused a few times as he approached the end of the corridor, and I impatiently wondered what was taking him so long.

Finally, I heard his cart rounding the corner and I pounced him. Meow, or something? Haha! I doubt the poor stack new what hit him! After slitting his throat once or twice, I contemplated throwing him on the cart and rolling him away with me. Maybe he would enjoy meeting Shady?

Hehe it just seemed fair that he would get to meet the woman who was partially to blame for his sudden death. Buuuuuuut, on second thought, three is a crowd and I wasn't really in the mood to share my fair Lady's attention...

Hey, not to mention that it would be kind of awkward introducing her to someone whose name I didn't even know. Decidedly, one-on-one time with my girl was the preferable option.

So, I shoved him in a nearby closet and stripped him of his uniform. You can never wear too many disguises in one night, boys and girls!

Dragging the cart along with me, I headed down the hall and began to hum idly. After about twenty minutes of navigating hallways, I arrived at my destination and pushed the cart through the door.

I'll be honest, I was surprised to find that Shady was awake and alert. She was secured to her bed, and her eyes were fixated on... a crack. Haha, what a fighter.

Her eyes never left the crack, despite the fact that I was wearing my trademark mask. She had noticed my entrance for sure, and she was definitely watching me from the corner of her eye, but she refused to look at me directly. The night was off to a glorious start!

I took a few moments to shuffle through some of the items that I had brought in with the cart, setting my personal satchel on the top of the miscellaneous articles. The room was surprisingly quiet, until I opened my satchel and spoke up.

"Darling, the crack's not gonna lose the staring contest. Trust me." I winked, amused. I shoved the cart against the wall, and bent at the waist in a slight bow. "Miss me?"

Shady looked me with a clearly bruised face, quiet for the moment. She attempted to lift her hand and wave, but was halted by the single restraint. "Hi." She said instead. "Come here often?"

"Not really," I responded as I began removing the orderly's uniform, "but, I think I might start visiting more. I like it." I tossed the uniform top on the cart and absentmindedly continued speaking, "Its VERY trendy. So what have you been up to lately? Doing much?" I nodded at the crack.

She lifted her free hand and pointed at her bruises before motioning to the room. "Scaring psychiatrists away, being abused by orderlies and nurses from the previous building. Waiting mainly." She shrugged lazily. "What about you, sweetie?"

What a snerk. Hehe. "Lots," I approached her bedside, "Hehe I've been partying all summer, ya know! It seems like there are never any challenges left in this little world of ours," Though, I contemplated, busting into insane asylums and prisons could be a fun new hobby, "it is amazing what somebody can do with enough funding,"

I examined her sheets before continuing, and smirked at the crack she had been fixated upon, "I'm planning Fright Night 2012. Hehe I've got lots of new tricks planned for all of my guests..."

I tilted my head, watching my vulnerable love interest.

"But no spoilers," I whispered, "You'll have to wait and see for yourself, like everybody else who is coming! Hey, don't ya read my blog anymore, Dove?" I giggled, imagining Shady with a beak... Hehe or even better, a bird with Shady's face! HA!

She twitched, and hissed, "Don't call me that," before calming instantly, as if a switch was simply flipped. "Exciting. But do you honestly think they allow me near any machines here? Oh no, no, no. They keep me locked up good and tight because they remember what happens when they don't." She smiled a moment at the crack, and I wondered what words of wisdom it was offering. Her attention was back to me, "How's your master, pet? Still riding your ass?"

I huffed, and then released a loud guttural laugh. "Ooooh, feisty. I guess being chained down gets you feeling extra spicy? Hohoho," I reached out with my foot, hooking the cart with it, and pulled it closer to the bed. I snatched my satchel from it.

"OH NO, not at all! After Doc visited, Thuggee and I had a very solid chat about our previous contract. Too many formalities and details to discuss, you wouldn't find it interesting. Long story short," I shuffled through my bag, grabbing a vial of the Venus Serum, "He gave me full control over this host body! Step one to world domination, complete!"

I nonchalantly removed my mask, and smiled. I held the sum of my identity, TheAdvocate, in my hand. "Familiar face, babe?" I winked. Hehe.

Her brow lifted. I bet the sudden reveal caught her off guard, despite her already knowing the truth about my identity. "So he's not inside you anymore?" She asked, and I could tell she was trying not to smirk at her wording. She's such an adorable little pervert.

Shady glanced at the vial in my hand, frowning before returning her gaze to my face. "Very familiar, clever boy. Is Proctor alright?" She asked, idly fiddling with her cuffed wrist. Psh, after all that I did to visit her, she can't get her mind off of Black.

A little peeved by her distracted nature, I passed the vial back and forth from hand to hand. "Oh yes, he's just dandy. In fact, he and I came to a bit of an agreement as well!" I lifted the vial to eye level and scrutinized the mixture. "Black, by the way," I was momentarily caught up in admiring my long-prepared potion.

I refocused on the Lady and leaned into her "personal space" (Hehe what is proximity, eh?), and smiled. Hehe the other guy sure knows how to take care of his teeth, I'll admit that... I've got some fiiiiiiiine pearly whites! Thanks, Black... Or Thuggly... Whichever did the most flossing...

"Hey, how would you feel if I put something inside you," I giggled, adding a wink to further the joke.

Shady responded by frowning at the vial in my hand, watching me as I moved it around. "Whatever is in that you better keep away from me." She warned, tempting me. She straightened herself, and became defense. "By stupid body doesn't need anymore abuse. Especially your concoctions!" The girl hissed, prying at the strap. Not very Lady like at all!

"So put that way, and we'll have a nice chat instead, hon." Oooh, so tempting...

Another day, another dosing. I pouted comically, "Aw boo boo, this little mix ain't gonna do you no harm! I was just thinking we might need something to, you know, lighten the mood." I started humming a song that I... I think it was romantic? I'm not sure. No, maybe not romantic...

Oh well, carpe diem. You only live once. Or something like that. Hehe. I took a seat by Shady's legs.

"Why are you so angsty, beautiful?" I smirked, and began massaging her feet. "Tell me EVERYTHING... Hehe..."

Shady eyed me suspiciously, like some kind of purple-ish crocodile, "This is weird." She bluntly stated, sounding quite childish but she didn't seem to care. "You know how messed up it is, walking in here and getting your face all naked like that for the first time. While I'm in here for being mentally unstable." She wagged her finger in my direction, disapprovingly, "Not cool, honey. My crazy has a thing for your crazy, and right now I'm full of crazy. You're just using it to your advantage here." She chuckled.

I felt charm bark at my doghouse and the doorbell rang. Ding dong, the witch is dead.

I rolled off the bed and onto the floor, smiling like a devil. My inner estranged hamster rolled me across the floor the length of the bed, and I popped up onto my knees near her face.

"Hehe, whatever you just said... I like it." I leaned into her and kissed her. C4 detonated in the back of my mind, and all of the little children started running in terror as a building collapsed. It was like a waltz, really.

I smiled coyly without removing my lips from hers, and she seemed to hesitate for a moment. Then, she returned my kiss briefly and pulled away. My mind flashed back to last year's fright night. Full circle.

"You know how messed up it is when a lunatic -- You -- visits and its more normal than when my brother does?" She grinned, obviously having enjoying my flavor, she leaned against my forehead for a moment. "Fucked up how you're the only normal thing. Familiar. Welcomed." She straightened up again as another switch seemed to flip in her brain. "But seriously, why are you here?"

I laughed, amused. I could imagine an eco-friendly light bulb appearing above her head. I could feel my eyes turn warm as a my words slipped out in a mischievous tone. "I was missing you, darling. Its been faaaaaar too long."

You know, I had been sneaking around all day, so I felt like I had the right to have a little bit of fun with theatrics...

I shot to my feet, and put on my best mock New York accent. "So I says to myself, ya know what I says? I should visit that dame before my heart explodes," I clutched my chest dramatically.

"I just couldn't help myself," I added in a harmonic voice, practically singing to her, "I'm tired of all these barriers being between us!" I tapped the wall, winking.

"So I thought to myself," I stood up and grabbed my satchel from the cart, "Why don't we do a little tango out of here, ya?" I removed a key out of the bag and gave her my most innocent smile. The item of interest that I had struggled to locate. The master key to the Lemonport Asylum. Shady hadn't bothered to conceal her amusement as I switched up my act, and performed various roles. Her chin was resting in her palm, and she was propped on her leg as she watched. She was curious, and as soon as the key appeared her eyes latched to it.

"Isn't it fitting that we shared our first real kiss in an asylum?" I contemplated aloud, clutching the key. Then, I paused. I had quite the epiphany...

Hmm... Shady, locked up in an asylum... An asylum that I have the master key to... Hehehe

"Ya know," I mused, contemplated the possibilities. "We could... Ooooh, that might... I see..."

The crack whispered to me an idea, and I giggled in amusement. "Hehehe well, why didn't I think of that in the first place?"

"Do wha--"

I dropped the key in my bag, and pushed the cart to the door. "Forget I said anything." She seemed to have stopped herself, eyeing my bag... I could tell that she was momentarily irritated, the expression flashing clearly across her face. She must not particularly enjoy this abusive place... Weird, I thought she was into pain...

She sighed lightly, watching me move towards the door. "Leaving already, hm?"

I had considered it. I could return at anytime, dressed up as an orderly. I could spend countless hours visiting her, pushing her in the right direction... influencing her... helping her... strengthening her... kissing her... Besides, hehe, she was never one to be able to handle my presence for too long. Most of our longer meetings have ended at gunpoint. ;)

But... her tone made me stop. I leaned on the cart. "We're together finally, alone... Both equally lost and maybe in love..." Pondering, I continued, "Our minds are stumbling around in this wonderfully dark world, free like fish at sea."

I examined her, filled with the strangest thoughts. "I've never wanted something so badly," I eyed her, "and yet I've never wanted to break myself so badly," I groaned, and found that speaking was surprisingly painful and infuriating. Pure insanity, I'd say! Oh, and to think, for so long I was hoping that I hadn't lost my mind... Teehee.

"You're beautiful like this, dang it. You know that, right?" I couldn't help but admire her, scratches and all. "You should get admitted to the looney house more often."

Pausing, I scratched my chin and raised my eyebrow. I rarely feel conflicted, if ever... Stupid dolls and their feminine witchcraft.

"We are quite spectacularly insane, aren't we?" I said decidedly, almost whispering. "Do you want me? For company? For me to stay?" I asked her, tilting my head.

She bowed her head a bit, watching me as I spoke... Her face was turning red. Hehe I wondered for a moment if I had broken her or something. Whoops.

A smile cracked across her face. "All of what you said, I like it." She mimicked me slightly. "Did you know you're also one of the very few consistent things in my life? You never REALLY leave. It's nice." She reached out her free hand to me, "I'd like you to stay, stay this time, though." I was confused for a moment, but then my brain registered what she was saying. Dumb brain, acting slow because of boobs. Huff. Haha!

She clarified what she was saying, "Physically not leave. It would mean a lot."

Gah, this chick... I took her hand and kissed it, smiling. Impossible nutcase. "As you wish," I kicked the cart aside, idly, and it bumped against the wall near the door. "You sweet talker you."

I took a seat on the bed and situated myself next to her, "I just can't resist a good snuggle, can I?" I sighed, taking a firm grip on her hand and running a few fingers through her hair.

"We should do this more often. Haha, snuggle times with TheAdvocate and Shady. We could have our own romantic comedy, ya? Everybody would love it. We'd end up with our own brand of cereal and popcorn. Maybe action figures too, ya know? I hope they don't overemphasize my butt. You'd make a hot action figure," I snickered, poking Shady's forehead.

"Your butt is pretty big," She joked, lacing her fingers in mine. "But I think our version of a romantic comedy would scare the piss out of the world. Hehe, it would be delightful." She leaned into my chest with an amused grin, hugging my waist. "Like this, very delightful. Snuggle time is nice. With you, that is. Let's make this a continuous thing." She paused, a new thought coming to mind.

"I like this." She said, as if it was a fact.

Somewhere in the world, a church just burned down.

She stroked my cheek, "It's as captivating as your personality."

I couldn't help but silently admire her. I chuckled as she spoke, "A step in the right direction, wouldn't you agree? I'm thinking this is a fresh start! Think of it... Out with the old, in with the new. Ha! The possibilities!"

My inflection turned into that of a mob boss', "We're going places, little lady! You and me, callin' the shots! Thuggee's got power, but he don't got the brain to hold onto it forever."

My accent slipped into something of a cockney resemblance. "As for all the oth'r pups in the 'ouse, i's justa matt'r o' linin' 'em up for leashes. Hehe an' settin' 'em all out on each oth'r!" I wrapped my hands around her waist victoriously, holding her for a moment. "But look at me, babbling on and on about whatnot." I pulled her head towards mine and kissed her forehead.

"Is there anything -- Or anyone -- that you would like me to deal with when I get back outside?" A sinister smile crawled across my face, and I could feel a sense of wicked accomplishment glowing behind my eyelids as I settled in for the night.

Shady listened to me as I spoke, and when I asked her what favors she needed me to do for her when after I left, she glanced at me and I knew at that moment...

We're going to change the world. Hehehe.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Help

Next time I meet with a client, I should do it in a giant shark-filled aquarium tank. Why? Because during this little meeting I was freaking starving. Without further introduction, Advo-Care Incorporated is proud to present the epic Tale of the Almighty Advocate and His Delightfully Devilish Companions:


A "Nameless" Character!

The girl who went by the alias of Nameless had been waiting for my arrival for some time now. I had shipped her a "package", and she had soon settled into one of my many hideouts nestled throughout the United States. I approached her in the morning, arriving silently and slipping into the house without alerting her. She was in the kitchen, most likely getting something for breakfast. Hehe I decided to see if she would jump at the sound of my voice, so I spoke up.

"Gooooooood morning, my dear. How'd you sleep? Hehehe..." She seemed surprised, but she showed little emotion. Killjoy. I walked over to the old, grungy coffee machine and pressed some buttons.

"I don't get much sleep, but considering the past few nights, fairly well." She replied, and then went silent. Sigh, this girl was all business and no fun! Finally, she spoke up again, "So, you're here finally. Do you want to have a tea party or discuss things?"

I snickered, chewing my thoughts for a moment. Someone needed to lighten up and it wasn't me. Hehe.

I threw a coffee mug that was sitting in the sink at a wall nonchalantly and it smashed on impact. "Tea? Hmmm, well tea sounds nice but perhaps something stronger... I've never been much of a coffee person. How about you?" I grabbed another coffee mug, but this time I grabbed it from the cabinet. I threw it aside when I realized how filthy it was, and it smashed inside the sink. Hehe when was the last time I did the dishes in this place?

I started humming a tune, contemplating whether or not I remembered to take the bomb from last month's project out of the dishwasher. "How are you feeling? Still dealing with symptoms?" I chuckled, referring to the Water of Life mixture. "I've been OH SO BUSY with patients lately. Boss boy has been extra bossy lately. I guess he's still..." I paused, grinning behind my mask, "angsty about certain things." I giggled knowingly and turn my attention to her as she replied.

"Yeah, the dizziness has gotten worse. Same with the aches and nausea. I've gotten sick a couple of times and the nightmares have increased, but maybe that's just me." She looked down at her hands as she was talking, and I noticed that they were unusually red. They seemed to have open gashes in them. Curious and curiouser!

She approached the kitchen table and slid her hands beneath it. Her eyes lifted to mine, and I detected a vague sense of hatred. "So what exactly is this stuff I'm taking supposed to do to me? And what does it have to do with my job?"

I approached the table idly chatting. "Oh, its just mutating your genetic code, really. Not a big deal, to be honest." A snicker slipped out of my mouth before I continued. "By the time you're finished with the three vials I sent you, your physical transformation should be complete. You'll be a regular old TOP OF THE LINE freak! It's gonna be great!" I got excited and slammed the table. Whoops. Hehehe. "Your muscles will tone and maintain themselves, which means that you'll be in perfect shape until the day someone puts a bullet in your head, your five natural senses will be heightened drastically, your agility and reflexes will become superhuman and... Well, in short, imagine yourself as the perfect human being. Maybe not sane, but physically perfect. Hehe. There... there are a few..."

I paused, tapping my fingers, "...a few minor flaws in the formula. Hehehe... but I'll guess we'll... um..." I charged the counter, and slid a drawer open. "We'll have to see what happens." I sifted through the utensils. "Won't we? Hopefully you won't die! Haha!"

Nameless narrowed her eyes, smirking. Perhaps she felt entertained? Hehe good. Her smirk increased when I began to explain to her that the formula would basically transform her into a superhuman. I returned to the table, leaving the drawer open, and took a seat across from her. "As for your job, well, I have a few people I need eliminated and I have one specific person that I need you to keep an eye on. Maybe a few other things, as well. Are you here alone? I know you were travelling with a few... friends..." I winked.

Her expression hardened. "Right. I still have Keith with me, as well as my sister, Lily. Right now... well, before Eden died, that incident with the shooting... You already know about that, don't you? Keith's been looking after her." She couldn't make eye contact with me, so she turned away. Guilty conscious, perhaps?

"As for Keith, he's out getting groceries right now."

I couldn't help but find that comment humorous. I sniffed, "Groceries? Hehe, he's your slave boy, then? Your errand runner? Haha, cute. Well, I'll be closely surveilling you and your amigos in the future, with the help of my... Secretary. Hehe so please, don't be afraid to smile at the camera and ask for assistance if you forget which wire to-- ah look,"

I caught a fly that was passing, momentarily examining my captive, "is this a friend of yours too? Hehe."

My muscles twitched while my mind refocused -- resetting -- and I started speaking again, excitedly.

"Hey, I've got a lot of business to take care of, I've been juggling a ton of crap since Doctor Proctor-- oh, I mean Black, hehe -- since Black spilled the big secret..."

I paused. Advocate paused. White paused. We paused. Time paused. Something unlocked inside my head. Hehehe, call it an epiphany.

I could feel my eyes becoming darkening. "Black... Ironic isn't it? He's the one who calls himself Black. But it's my blood I swear. It's all mine! Especially after he gave me his body, I don't -- I won't share! I'm no puppet. So I'll be White, and I'll be the one who plays his cards right." My legs jolted and I stood up abruptly. Involuntarily...

"I plan on visiting Shady very soon. I may leave for the asylum as soon as tonight. My secretary's name is Raquiela... I mean Rachel... I think...? Anyways," I pulled a knife out of my trusty satchel and carved a phone number into it, labeling it "Call me for a good time".

 "Give her a ring-a-ding if you need something. My boss takes care of expenses and funding, so if you need a gun or a computer or a bar of chocolate to soothe your raging female hormones..." I took a moment to chuckle at my humorous comment, "go ahead and ask. Is there any questions you'd like to ask me before I leave, girly?" Absent of mind, I toyed with the knife and leaned against the table.

She was glaring at me. I was a bit surprised when she stood up and headed for the door without answering me. "He's home," I heard her say. Hehe little nutcase, she's adorable :3

She pulled the door open and smiled brightly, and I heard her talking to someone. I saw her standing at the door... it took me a moment to comprehend what was going on and who was at the door. Hehe fascinating...

"Did you get everything on the list?" She asked. Nameless walked over to the cabinets, and gave her... companion... a look that said, 'We'll talk later.'

I watched my new "partner in crime" for a few minutes, studying her. Finally, she turned to me and started speaking,

"Shady..." A rather dark expression crossed her face as she continued. "You going to hurt her?" With all her strength, she seemed to manage to lift her eyes up to meet mine, waiting for an answer.

A strange question... I was quiet for a few moments, scrutinizing her. My eyes blinked, and my brain contemplated my response thoughtfully... And then a roaring cackle emitted from my lips.

"Oh maybe just a little, no pain no gain right? Hehe I have a plan to complete her. You see, she has this horrible way of fighting her fate and well... Hehe I'm just going to guide her on her path with a little prodding. She's mine, if you didn't notice." I walked over to the counter and began tapping my fingers against it. "I doubt you'd have a problem even I did intend to hurt her. You don't seem like someone who would let themselves get wrapped up in silly.... Emotions."

Her eyes became cold and hardened. She seemed defensive. She seemed to be in a state of conflict. "Of course not."

I chuckled. "Of course not. So, girl, how do you like to play? Are you a "dissect your victims with a knife" kind of dame or do you gravitate more towards killing with a gun?" I shuffled through my bad and pulled a folder out, setting it on the counter.

"It depends who my victims are," the girl replied bluntly, pulling the gun from her belt and admiring it as she continued. It was a pretty little piece, if you're a fan of shooting things. "For instance...Say my target is a runner. Just some young man who was unfortunate enough to stumble into the Father's path. Didn't really do anything wrong. He was just...unlucky." She raised the gun, pointing the crude thing at my head, her eyes seeming to sparkle as she squinted them at me. Most people would have panicked. "He'd get the bullet." Her finger pulled on the trigger and she smiled very faintly. Then, lowering the gun, she tilted her head and sighed. "Lucky I didn't put any in there." I couldn't help but smile at this little lady's guts.

Nameless set the pistol down on the table and twirled it around with her fingers. "People like that are kind of like me. The odds just weren't in my favor. It's not like I can remember what exactly happened that made me all brainwashed into killing my family and running off with the Siblings, but I know I didn't choose it. I just...happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." Her voice didn't change, but her eyes were darker, showing something like anger, or even sadness. That soon disappeared though, and the girl's face was unreadable again. I wonder if she practices that look in the mirror every morning... "But fuck all that," Immaturely, I cracked a grin at the choice of words, "I started to realize that the past is the past and it's no good pitying myself and reminiscing about it. It happened and I can't do shit, but there's one way to cope with it."

"Running away and pretending everything is willy-nilly, running off with some other freaks from the internet only screws things up more. I don't regret breaking out of the Cage, but I should've found a way for myself and Ron sooner. But whatever...I was a child then...I've matured now." Nameless narrowed her eyes at the gun before placing it back in her belt and looking up at my face again. What kind of conflict was raging within her young mind? Oh how I'd love to dissect her sick mind. "If I do the Father's bidding, he'll spare me. If I disconnect myself from everyone I know, I won't be weighed down. If I get rid of love and guilt and pain, there's no way to hurt me. So that's what I've done, and I'm ready to stop fucking around and live my life, no matter how shitty it's been up until this point." With that, she stood up and stared straight at the me from across the table, her eyes still conflicting emotions. The rest of her face looked hard and unreadable.

"But enough about my past. Nobody cares about that. Let's get back to business."

I scratched my chin beneath my mask, intrigued. I hadn't flinched when Nameless pulled the trigger of the gun, confident that she had no reason to put a bullet in my head, though, the thought of her shooting at me provoked an interesting thought process. Hehe I wonder... bullet-proof armor is a potentially worthwhile investment. Hoohoo, imagine a bullet-proof mask! Before my mind began to trail too far off, I approached her. "Fascinating. Really." I circled her, approaching her from behind. All predators circle their helpless prey, do they not?

A syringe slid down and out of my jacket sleeve, landing in my tight grip. I giggled. Hehe.

"I wonder if I could cure you of your problems."

My eyes flickered. I could feel it! I could feel the freedom of insanity as it pulsed through my eyelids.

"Perhaps I could free you of your remaining sanity. Do you think you are sane?" I questioned her, softly pressing against her ear, almost whispering.

"Or are you certain that you've gone mad? Hehehe..." I took a step back, leaning against the fridge.

You know what? This girl kinda reminds me of myself when I was younger.

"L-O-L, girl. I like you. I think this relationship is going to be very beneficial to the both of us..." She seemed a little uncomfortable. Silly personal space bubbles! Nameless spun around, and began backing up a as to make space between us. Narrowing her eyes, she lifted herself up and sat on the table. By George, I think she think she's mad!

"I might be mad. Just a little. But I fixed some of it. I can reason now. I'm not a stupid little girl who thinks she can protect people and then just end up being wrong and letting her family die around her, then run off on them and-" There was a long pause as the little villain stared at the ground, the once blank look on her face now completely gone. Oh yes, she's completely mad! It seemed that she had lost control of her emotions, and was struggling to get them back into sorts.

"Excuse me," she continued as she slid back off the tabletop and started picking up the cups that I had thrown earlier, throwing them and the rest of the pieces in the sink. I smirked.

"I'm not crazy. I'm strong enough not to let trauma affect me that way. I can reason, and though I have my moments, in the end I control my own actions. No emotions or insanity get in the way of that." After she'd finished cleaning the floor of the mess, Nameless slapped her hands together and glanced at me once more. "But what exactly did you have in mind?"

"All the Runners I need eliminated are in that folder." Well, actually not the Runners that I needed eliminated... More like the Runners that Thuggee needed eliminated. At the moment, I didn't feel like that little piece of information was necessary to disclose.

"Nolan Beck. Dan Chilton. Ryan Leopold. Adam Wayne. John Smith. Hehehe a few other kids with silly names that they fabricated for themselves when they began running. Oh," I slapped the fridge, snickering,
"and a few Proxies, a few government agents, and well... Spoilers! Hehe I'll let you be surprised. Read up,"

I slid my hands into my pockets and sauntered over to her, "Have you been taking notes??? I don't like repeating myself. It's simple enough right? Just kill them and avoid being caught! If you need anything... Like I said... Ask and you shall receive." I could feel my focus slipping, and my impatience growing. I started to walk towards the exit of the kitchen. I suddenly had a desire to cut something open. Hehe.

Nameless nodded, sliding the folder across the table and holding it up against her chest. "I can remember...And where will you be going?"

"The looney house, of course! I've got to brew something special for my darling Lady." My tone was light and cheerful. Possibly a little ominous?

"Lemon-port Asylum is great this time of year, I hear." I tapped the walls as I practically danced towards the entrance of the hideout.

"One last thing," I coughed, calling back, "if your friend hinders your progress, I'll infect him with a flesh eating virus." I coughed again, jokingly. Opening the front door, I stepped outside and felt something evil embrace me. I was consumed by a distorted shadow. A pile of black leaves remained where I had once stood, symbolizing my departure into a much darker place.

STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT EPISODE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. Will TheAdvocate find true love? Will Nameless survived her genetic alteration? Is a bullet-proof mask a smart idea?


Hehe... that was fun. I really should be on TV...

Talk to you soon, boys and girls.

A Dog Stuck In A Tree

Hello kids, did ya miss me? Things have been quiet, haven't they? Hehe Thuggee likes to call it the calm before the storm. I prefer to call it BORING. Seriously, I don't know how he manages to post so little! If I had as much free time as he does, I would be updating on a daily basis! But alas, I am a busy man. The summer has been glorious, hasn't it? I've got quite a few things to talk about before I depart for the night.

First things first, Doctor Proctor-- Or should I say, Doctor Black? Hehehe... Doctor Black is finally getting in touch with his "true-self". Mid-life crisis level 99, if you ask me. ;)

Anyways, Slappy, I've been considering your offer for a while now and I think I've come to a fair decision. Do you wear a toupee? No? I guess I knew the answer all along, really, considering that we once shared a host body... Does your new host body wear a toupee? Oh, and by the way YES. That's my answer. Yes. However, in actuality I say no. That's my real answer. So the answer is yes and no. Hey hey hey, now don't get flustered yet! I know that you expected me to suddenly become your best friend, but the fact that we were both Thuggee's tools and that we're practically the same person (Or were, depending on what perspective you'd like to take on the subject) doesn't really matter to me right now. Let me explain what I mean. 

Yes, I agree to a truce. I will not kill you. You will not kill me. Heck, we may even work together on a chemical concoction or two... but that doesn't mean we're team-mates. Don't take it personally, I'm just not one for choosing sides. You should know this by now! 

Call me selfish, but I really only work for my own personal gain. Hehehe look at me, I'm being so straight-forward today! WOO! You know what that means? I'm cutting somebody's ears off today!

Anyways, what was I saying? 

Right. Yes, I won't kill you. No, I'm not going to join you and Shady and your team of Avengers. I'm not going to "fight for the greater good" or aid you in your lunacy. Well, okay maybe I'll budge on the lunacy. Hehehe.

We may be "brothers", but that doesn't mean we're family. Which is a good thing for you, considering the fact that I don't play well with family members. I mean, I killed mommy and daddy (Your mommy and daddy, too, since we were the same person then) and... well, I can't remember what I did to the rest of our relatives. They probably got stiffed too. I don't recall.

You know, it is pretty neat how the mind works, wouldn't you agree? For so long, I had a bunch of black holes in my memory that I could never place, but you filled in all the blanks! Hehehe we had a lot of fun when we were a kid, Doc! I'm surprised the Tall Man visited you so often. I guess he was attracted to my personality, ya? ;) I'm very charismatic. That's what Shady thinks.

So yeah, thanks for meeting with me! I think we're both mildly happy that I didn't kill you on sight. 

Thuggee was pretty peeved, and probably a little surprised, when I was able to resist his control over the host body. Hoo boy, he was causing quite a thunderstorm up in ye' old noggin'. What a headache! He certainly did NOT approve of our conversation. Not one bit. He wanted to cut our negotiations short, but Lord knows you can't tame a wild mind like mine.

Ha, to be honest, Thuggee was starting to lose his grip days before our little business meeting. He was getting sloppy. His memories have been slipping into my dreams since the attack on the Haven, but I never realized that I was seeing behind a curtain until I started getting these weird thoughts...

Does "Overthrowing gods and kingdoms" seem like the kind of thing I'd fantasize about while strolling through the back alleys of a city? Haha.

Anyways, Thuggee and I wrestled for control a smidgen after you left and then we finally decided to talk it out like a pair of gentlemen. As EQUALS. He's not such a bad guy, Doc, once you get passed the whole "psychotic megalomaniac god" bit. He's a tad misunderstood, really. Hehehe.

Long story short, we shook on a lucrative deal  and I am now the ONLY resident of our old host body! NO ROOMMATES ALLOWED! Ha, finally.

Oddly enough, I feel like Thuggee took a portion of my remaining sanity when he transferred to his new host.  Feels like I just drank a refreshing glass of iced water! Hohoho, Merry Christmas!


I'm going to bring this post to conclusion soon, BUT DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL! I'll be posting again before the night is over, little doves! 

Until I finish up my second post for the evening, go kill something. I expect to hear a full report upon my return! HAHA!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

A Wonderful Start To The Summer

Hehehe Ms. Smith finally sobered up, boys and girls. Oh, did she have quite a few things to say to me...

Her real name is Rachael. She is twenty-four. Her first encounter with the Tall Man was ten years ago. Her family is dead. She started running five years ago, after her fiance was brutalized by a proxy with a sledgehammer. That was when she killed her first proxy! Fascinating...

Since than, she has killed quite a few hollowed servants. She has also killed two intelligent thinkers, such as myself and she hasn't slept for more than three hours at one time in months. She is very good at car jacking, shooting things and making turkey and cheese sandwiches. Hehehe its so wonderful getting to know new friends, ain't it?

The Venus Project was a complete success. It seems that I have finally perfected my formula! I'd like to thank Shady and Dia for their generous donations of blood to my project. I would have never isolated the create chemicals for my recipe if it had not been for you two ;)

At this moment, Rachael Smith is fixing me a late lunch in the kitchen of one of my many hideaways. She's got a magical touch when it comes to cooking. I wonder if I she went to culinary school before she became a Running Gun? I should ask her. I'm sure she'd be more than glad to answer my questions. Hehehe

You see... The Venus Project is very special. It takes quite a few doses of the mixture for the recipe to take affect, but once it does... Hehehe its truly magnificent. Its almost like she can't say no to me in her current state of mind ;D

And best of all, the affects are permanent after five doses!

With this new recipe... Hehehe... I'm going to be a real ladies man ;D

Rachael really is very cute in this form. I come home after a long day of work and she's eagerly awaiting my arrival with dinner and affection :,)

The only thing that would make this even better... is if it was Shady. Hey babe, I can't wait to see you again... I wonder if I'll have to use more doses on girls like you and Dia, the ones with the stronger willpower... Hmmm....

I guess I'll have to test it out eventually. Hehehe...

Its funny really, I originally intended to just splash a dose of Party Potion on her and let fate drag her to a grave... but this is just so much more fun. Turning an enemy into a pet. Now I see why Thuggee does it!

Hehehehe I feel like a little kid on Christmas Eve! This month just keeps getting better.

Ha, what's up Doc? See you seen, old chap!

Shady, keep doing whatever your doing... its super adorable. I'm so hot for you right now.

Aaaaah... Rachael gives great massages, as well. Its nice having someone around to talk to, ya know? Hehehe I think I scare her when I talk about my innermost thoughts, but she behaves like a good pet and listens quietly.

Hm, maybe I'll adjust the recipe a bit for Shady. I don't want her to lose her spunky side, ya know? I like her feisty personality. I'll have to figure out a way to keep that around... Maybe four doses instead of five.

We'll see what goes on.

Anyways, what have you all been up to, my dear students? Have you been causing trouble :)?

Let me know... Or else I'll have to visit you and ask you in person :) I'm always looking for an opportunity to test my Party Potion!

Monday, April 30, 2012

Great Progress, Eh!

Aw darn. Blogger... What is with this ugly new set up? Haha... Hey there, students. What have you been up to? Hehe cheers for Monday, right? Three cheers for the beginning of another fruitful week!

I decided to give Shady earlier this month, after my last post... Huff, that girl just doesn't appreciate all the time I put into planning our special dates. I cooked you a delicious meal, I took you with me on a romantic escape and then I ended your experience with a fantastic, top quality pyrotechnics showcase... Hehehe and you still won't pick up my phone calls... Hooooow cuuuuuute. Your just so freaking adorable. You know what? You know what? You... you have TRULY inspired me. Now, I'm going to get creative. No, lacing the drinking cups at your house with tasteless, invisible chemicals to put you out... Hehe that's not enough, is it? No, its time to raise my standards. You and I are going to have a lot fun in the future. REAL fun. No more kiddie crap! Now people are going to get hurt. Now, people will die. :)

Ha. Ha. Ha. Haaa... HA! I'm freaking giddy. I heard you let Lullaby die. Ooh, Thuggee is gonna be PO'd. He might even have me do something horrible to you, babe. Let's not fight, beautiful. I don't wanna be your enemy :)

I wanna be your drug. Hehehe

My Monday has been pretty great, excluding this sucky new blogger-theme-crap... I've been very productive!

This is how EVERY week should start. I've been such a busy bee... I did it, finally. My chemical recipes are ready to put into daily use. Wee! This opens way too many doors. This... this is the highlight of the month!

What else did I accomplish today? Well, I made a new friend. You remember Amy Smith? Hehehe... Yesterday, I caught her scent in my area. Figuratively.

She thought she could hide out in a vacant, inner city apartment! Ha! Stupid girl, oh you can't imagine how disappointed I was when I tracked you down. Why'd you have to run to such an OBVIOUS place? I mean, I seriously expected more from the girl who kept herself alive for so many years using the same con over and over again! Hehe I wonder what caused you behave so sloppily...

Did the fear cloud your mind? Did panic poison your common sense? Why, after so long, did you start making such dumb decisions? Ha... no, in the end you were just like any other Running Gun. An amateur trying to survive.

You set a trap.
You tried to pull the wool over my eyes.
You wanted to turn the tables on me.
Hey, when I caught on to your act you even tried to snare me and I still dodged the noose...
Then you started to slip, didn't you? Did I set you off balance?
Hehe you weren't prepared for my survival. You lost your nerve, eh? Haaa...

I like you, Amy, you have guts. You remind me of Shady a little bit. Of course, she's got a lot going for her and she is just so very special and you... well you're just a doll, you don't have what it takes to survive when the big dogs finally find you. I guess that's why I was assigned to deal with you. The average hollowed puppet just never cut it, ya know? Even after Shady was impaled by Road Runner, she managed to keep herself alive when the crazy lady sent proxies after her...

Its not that hard to deal with those insects. They're the Tall Man's cannon fodder, they're only really dangerous in groups. Like I said though, you've got guts. Your an above average gal and for that I think you deserve a little credit. So, congrats to you! You survived... Hehehe

But anyways, back to what I was saying...

Runners are much easier to hunt than they are to catch. How do you track a Runner, you might ask? Well, simply follow the trail of paranoia and civil unrest! Hehehe Runners have a talent for causing trouble, no matter where they go or who they interact with. They travel across the surface of the world like a plague, spreading the Boss' influence...

So, I went around town and interviewed some concerned citizens and... hehe they sure did let the cat out of the bag. You sure seem surprised to see me when I did show up. But hey, I've been talking a lot about this, maybe you'd like a chance to tell all of my viewers about what happened? No? Not in the mood to type right now? Hmmm you seem a little loopy still from that dose of Venus... Hehehe come on, girly, sober up!

You had expected me to come charging through the front door and I decided just to step right into your little hideout via the bedroom closet. Hehe you smelt the scent of ash and you saw the black leaves that littered the floor as I entered reality, you spilled the beer you had purchased at the small store down the road and you tried to grab that pretty little gun of yours...

I moved fast, rolling out of that closet like a tidal wave and hitting you against the wall with my full force. You  squeaked like a chew toy, I grabbed you by the shoulder and drove my knee into your diaphragm. I could feel the strength leave your body like a held breath. I balled my fists and made contact with your right cheek, sending you into another wall. You rolled into the kitchen, coughing. You tried to draw your pistol, but it slipped out of your hands clumsily. You really should have invested in a holster for that thing instead of just tucking it into the back pocket of your pants... I stepped into the kitchen as it hit the floor. You screamed and cursed, you scrambled to find some kind of a weapon, the kitchen was empty, you tried to climb over the counter and escape, I grabbed you by the wrist before you could...

You slapped at me and I caught your hand, I twisted your wrist upward and you dropped to your knee in submission to the pain. I paused for a moment to admire my work, grinning on the inside. This was the best part of my job. Fear was painted all over your adorable face. In this lighting, you were actually pretty cute. Not nearly as cute as my lovely Shady, but cute nonetheless. I wondered, how beautiful would Ms. Amy Smith look once I was finished with her? Then I realized that I didn't know your real name.

"So, what's your name?"
You spat at my feet defiantly.
"What is your name," I dislocated one of your wrists and you started to cry. It was pitiful. You remained defiant! In annoyance, I dislocated your other wrist and shoved you to the ground.
"Tell me your name, now!" I reached into my satchel and... paused. Joshua's pistol was available for use, but so were three syringes loaded with my latest chemical mixtures... Decisions, decisions, decisions.

You seemed lost, you tried to wiggle away so that you could recover from my attacks but you were just too broken. Your mind was paralyzed, your body was in shock from terror. I casually sauntered over to you and made my decision.

"You'll tell me your name soon enough," I laughed and pulled the Venus Project from my bag. A couple of doses of this and you'd be more than willing to tell me your name.

So, I stuck you in the arm and brought you home with me. You still haven't recovered from my assault, despite my medical attention. Ugh, I hate slow healers.

You should feel very special right now. You're the first test subject that has ever survived the Venus Project!  Oh, and you're alive! Only a few kids are special enough to keep alive. Hehehehe...

So, Amy... hehehe what's your name?

Wait a moment! Wait a moment! Breaking news! I just got a new email in my inbox! Ohohohoho... You'll never guess who just emailed me. Proctor, Shady is gonna be very mad at you... But I bet you aren't too happy with her right now either, are you? ;) Hehehe...

Hurry up and finish baking, Amy, we've got plans for this week.
See you soon, students!

Monday, April 16, 2012

1:07 AM Is The Best Time To Do The Dishes

Well, I'm just surrounded by an assortment of trouble aren't I? Hehe I've gotten pretty good at this whole "making friends" bit. It seems that The Executor was pretty irritated by my recent alliance with Thuggly! Don't be so jealous, Bonny Lad. Its nothing personal. Ha. Its business, that's all. Thuggly and I have a deal going right now that is just too sweet to resist. Once I've made a few life insurance payments, I'll be back to working for the big guy full-time. Hehe everybody wins! Don't let it frustrate you that I can work both sides of the fence and you can't.

Besides, I still have the list the boss gave me on Valentine's Day. So... technically we're still co-workers :) At least until I finish this project. Then I'll spend a few months cleaning house for Thuggly, invest time into perfecting my most recent chemical weapons, and put on the biggest fireworks show in the history of nuclear warfare... Did I mention I was writing a play? Its a musical. I've been working on the cast list for a while. Its going to be delightful. A real theatrical triumph! Snails are still very much the latest trend. 

Oh, I went over my To Do list yesterday... I have quite a lot to do, its true! Its almost depressing. How am I ever going to manage to set aside quality time for my lovely dove and I? I'll do it, I will! Hehe where there is a will, there is gasoline and a lighter! I jotted down a few additional notes today:

1. Call Shady
2. Venus trial at resort, don't forget sponges
3. Locate #32
4. Deal with #31 (Ashley Smith is a doozy, remember Party Potion)
5. Remember to bring ashtray from basement
6. Order C4
7. Send package to Gallop and Gravity

Oh, let me pause for a moment. Number seven has been on my mind all day. Hehe keep your eyes open for a surprise, girls and boys! I just shipped a very special order to an acquaintance of mine. Cross that off the list...  

Besides the above mentioned chores, I have some other things listed for memories sake. I have a terrible knack of forgetting matters of importance... Oh, that reminds me. I need to prepare a package for the Doctor! Hehehe Shady, you're going to enjoy this. What fun the three of us are going to have together. Now, before you start poking at me aggressively, you should know that he was the one who extended an invitation to meet for tea. Well, maybe he didn't invite me over for tea specifically but he did invite me for a good old fashioned reunion! We're all behaving so wonderfully civil, aren't we. HA. 

Wait, let me get a pencil... Okay, we're good. I'll call you soon, babe <3 It would really be healthier for everyone if you picked up when I did so. Thanks for understanding, dear. ;)

I recently began recording my body's reactions to certain situations/environments/emotions/chemicals/etc, and I find that while writing I experience 50% more migraines and head rushes than at any other time of the day. Fascinating, isn't it? Don't get me started on the changes in my genetic structure, the alteration of my blood's color and the heightened sense to-- Oops, the rest of this sentence is not available and/or could not be located due to its high spoiler content. Error code: Sucks for you. Hehehe.

Pros and cons of genetic alterations... saving this to record... Wee, loading screen...

Anyhow, I lost my train of thought... Ten years ago. ;) Hehe. 

The Executor, don't stress your pretty little mind about me. I'm just having fun. You're going to let me have my fun. Why wouldn't you? Hehe nothing to fear but fear himself. I'm going to spend some time having fun, wrecking some lives, building some alliances, manufacturing bombs and then we'll see what I do next. I do believe that you and I are equally unaware of where all roads lead, I guess we can be surprised together when we get there! We'll have a celebration then, maybe you can let me borrow one of your schnazzy looking suits for the occasion. Haha. Speaking of parties... Octobor is steadily approaching, isn't it? I've got a theme in mind for Fright Night 2012. Maybe you'd like to visit the dance floor, eh?

Hehe I'm so freaking good at making friends. I should write a book. Or a blog. Ha!

You know, Ashley Smith has turned out to be a big pain in the butt. She's a dame I could live without. In fact, give me a week and we'll see if she can keep up this game of evasion... I'll have quite a prize when I catch her, won't I? She's done a fine job of running, but I'm sure she'll try and make a stand soon. She's a stereotypical Running Gun, like I said before...They all try and play the hero eventually. 

I'll admit, she's good. I caught on to her secret ploy at the restaurant when I originally located and contacted her, but I was probably the first to hunt her and realize that she was playing scared. The overemphasized nervousness, the painfully obvious pistol she kept "concealed" on her, her messy appearance... Nobody who acts like that could have killed as many pursuers as she has. The sleep-deprived appearance isn't hard to fake if you know what you're doing. 

With a good disguise and above average acting skills, I bet she fooled a lot of proxies into underestimating her. Hehehe but she couldn't fool me, could she? Too bad that thing had to screw it all up. Now she's running around, trying to avoid me like a fly dodging a swat. Eh, I'll deal with her tomorrow. Or maybe I could take a midnight run to town and set the ball rolling. We'll see how I feel in an hour... Yawn. I'm not exactly in the mood to prowl tonight. When I find her, she won't realize I'm on her heels. Tomorrow, next week, next month... doesn't particularly matter to me. 

Alright, time to go do something productive. Look at me, wasting time that I could be using testing my recipes! I blame this on all of you. Hehehe my students. I just like you all that much ;)

Hmm... You know what's irritating? Dishwashers. 

Until I decide to mutilate another person and write about it, 

SEE YOU SOON, KIDS. Hehe. I've got so much more to write about.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Running Gun

Well... something walked in on a business meeting yesterday and caused a quite a ruckus. It was a horrible interruption, and it got quite messy. Story time!

It was about 11 o' clock, and I had a lunch date with a client. Italian cuisine, if you were wondering. She was a shifty character, always on the edge of her seat and always antsy to pull a trigger. I smirked while I was watching her from across the restaurant, she wasn't very good at concealing herself in a crowd if that was her intention. It was blatantly obvious she was what I like to call a Running Gun. She kept scratching her lower back, fidgeting against her seat. Something was rubbing against her uncomfortably, and my guess was that it was a concealed weapon of some kind, most likely the 9mm that she possessed illegally. Her eyes were red, she wasn't sleeping well. Nightmares. Hehe. My previous research also showed that she has had quite a history with drug abuse and car theft. Escaping terror by getting high is the oldest trick in the book and if you wanna survive as a Runner, knowing how to hot-wire a car is the first thing you learn.

If only she had managed to contact a Librarian, she probably could have saved herself a lot of trouble. Librarian's are good at keeping things quiet. Hehe too bad, four years of running and she never found a Librarian to erase her past and now its caught up to her.

Jack, is that your name? Jackie Jack McJack. Hehe no wait, I think its John. Josh! That's it. Ha! That's your name. I think. I still have your gun! Hehe if Shady wasn't so protective, I would offer to meet you again sometime to return it... Hoho, I'm sure you'd like it back. It's been very helpful to me, I hope you understand that.

Anyways, back to the story. I had Jack's gun in my jacket (Ha! Jack, Jacket. Life is funny like that), but I really only carried that thing for show. Shooting someone is no fun, its too easy and too quick. It sure does stop someone in their tracks, though, when you whip out a shiny black pistol and point it in their direction. Hehe.

Would I use Jack's little toy today? I decided not to. No painting a picture with a gunshot today. The girl, she called herself Ashley. That's what the others said, at least. The other runners, I mean. They all had such beautiful singing voices. Ashley Smith, though, is not really Ashley Smith at all. That would be ridiculous. You wouldn't believe how many "Smiths" I have met in my lifetime. Smiths and Johnsons everywhere, but not a drop to drink!

So there I was, across the "mood-lit" restaurant, watching the Ashley Smith who is not actually Ashley Smith, admiring her flawed facade and then it hit me. My brain exploded with a whole new concept, and I felt inspiration and affirmation flood my mind. Theories bubbled up like boiling water and I stood from my seat, heading to the men's room to prepare, wearing a smile.

My mask slipped onto my face, attaching itself like a symbiotic life-form. My satchel hugged me, and smiled. I heard it sing in eager anticipation, stomach full of goodies. It sang a new song, I suppose it was as inspired as I was. I heard a toilet flush behind me, I turned, a man began to open the stall door and let out what would have been a profanity if I had not kicked the door into him. He fell backwards, landing on his throne and I descended upon him with a giggle. I pressed him against the seat, my hand around his neck. He thrashed, swinging at me. It was pathetic. He never landed a blow. I pulled a syringe from my bag, jousting with the long point. His voice died, his throat swelled. He still breathed, but his panicked grunts were silent.

"Hush," I said. "Today is your lucky day." His body went limp, he stopped resisting. He lacked the energy to fight, his arms were jelly, his legs numb. His breathing calmed. His eyes remained wide and terror-filled.

Inside my head, I was dancing. Ha, what fun. I pulled a nail-file from my pocket, stroking his cheek. "Open wide." His head lolled back, and his mouth swung open wide involuntarily. "Let's check those pearly whites."

Oh, yes, you didn't know I was a dentist? Its really just another hobby of mine.

I pulled out a long and thin knife, which barely fit between the man's teeth. I made small incisions, gently slicing is gums. Time to try a new creation! Hehe I always feel bubbly at times like these, so you can imagine my excitement as I pulled out the Joy Jelly Serum I had concocted earlier this month. I squeezed a tiny pea-sized portion of the thick substance onto a travel-sized toothbrush I kept with me (Not for myself, of course!) and brushed the congealed potion against his teeth. The man's eyes sprang to life again, thrashing in his head. They rolled back and I could feel his tensing vocal chords against my palm as he tried to scream.

I bet it felt wonderful. I moved on to the next step, applying the file to his teeth. I've never sculpted before, but there is a first time for everything! Hehe. If only I had had time to interview him on how the process made him feel... Halfway through filing I realized the time and had to cut my procedure short. I carved my signature into his tongue with my special oral knife and patted him on the cheek. His legs moved as mobility returned to him slowly, but I quickly administered chloroform to the patient and stuck another large syringe into his neck. Standing up, I dusted myself off and cleaned my tools in the sink before leaving. It was of no consequence to me if anyone found the unconscious man in the bathroom stall, and the men's room was unusually inactive today.

Perhaps the Boss is looking out for me, eh? Hehehehe.

So, I returned to the dining area of the restaurant and noticed that Ms. Smith was packing up to leave. Not a single person had noticed my ominous presence, so I decided to lean against a wall and watch her for a few more seconds. Heh, she stood and I noticed the black hilt of a handgun sticking out of her pants. Predictable.

Her blonde hair was a mess. I mean, messier. Ha!

She started to leave. I followed her out. Once outside, she turned a street corner. I followed her. She turned into an alley. I laughed out loud, and gave myself a wide bearing as I turned down the street. John's gun was in my hand, safety clicking off.

What a beautiful trick, Ms. Smith. In another life, you might have been a passable actress.

She was waiting for me, she had her own weapon drawn, and she was pointing it menacingly at my head. I instinctively raised my free hand and shadows whipped around my wrist. She dropped her gun and screamed. I was within range of grabbing her now. I slapped her across the face with the butt of John's pistol. She fell against the wall of the alley, I kneed her in the face. She scrambled to her feet, I kicked her pistol away from us, she pulled a knife out of her pocket. A switchblade. Really? Ha!

She stabbed at me, I caught her by the wrist and broke it. I pulled her by the hand to my left, and then swung her to my right again. Feel the burn, Ashley. She was caught off guard by my speed, I grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her into my uppercut. She fell onto her back, I sat with my knees on her arms.

"We all have our tricks, don't we?" I giggled, "Four years surviving on the same con, eh?  I'm surprised nobody has caught on before." She tried to bite me, I reached into my satchel and pulled a syringe free.

"Not very conversational, eh?" I patted her face, "Don't worry, I'll be quick. Now," I pulled a camcorder from my bag, "Ms. Ashley the Actress, its time for your Internet debut!" I pressed record and sunk the needle's tip into her neck. Then it happened. I saw her eyes jump to something behind me. I looked over my shoulder and something tall and... skinny... And naked. Or at least, half-naked. It was covered in bandages like a mummy, but there were plenty of exposed areas. Its arms and legs were very long, bent and twisted.... It looked like a messier, sloppier interpretation of the Tall Man. Like, a Tall Man made out of distorted clay... naked, and covered in bandages instead of a suit. And it had a face. It had eyes, and a wide grin. The mouth was sown up like a doll, and all over its body were scratches like tally marks... I was half disgusted and half entranced by the morbid beauty of it.

My instinctual reaction was to assume that it was the Tall Man, or something like the Tall Man... But it was much different then the Slender Man. It just stood there for a second, long enough for me to notice it, and then it was gone. Its feet (Without toes and thin) never moved though, it just floated away as if it was riding an unseen skateboard or something.

Here is the really frustrating part. I was distracted long enough for the freaking Running Gun to wiggle a hand free and grab something from her pocket. A vial of something acidic, she spilled the contents all over me, burning my face and mask... The pain was a minor irritation, but then she ran away before I could pull Josh's gun loose to shoot her in the foot or something...

Now I have to locate freaking "Ashley Smith" again, draw her out AGAIN, and explain to the Boss why I failed to kill the stupid little brat. Worst of all, I have no clue what that other thing was that decided to interrupt me today. Just another thing to worry about. Oh, and the head rushes are still bothering me.

At least I got to test the Joy Jelly. That was the highlight of the day. I wonder if the patient has committed suicide yet. The chemicals I injected into him after knocking him out with the chloroform have probably set in... Hmm. Excuse me while I do a follow-up on this subject and/or vent my frustration. Hehehehe.

Until I update again,

Monday, March 26, 2012

Back in Black

Blood. Ha. Hahaha... My blood. Shiny new tricks everywhere, new blood. New blood. My blood. Haha. What a head-rush.

Hey kids, students, lovers, victims, pawns, and amigos. It has been a long time, hasn't it? A month without contact with my beloved readers... hehe I bet you're wondering where or why I went away. But wait-- If you've been keeping up with my darling Shady, you probably know that I called her. Silly girl always blabs on and on about me. She's such a fangirl. Hehehehe... But yes, I called her and up until now I have been quite busy with appointments and other fascinating little side jobs. This is the first time in a LONG time I've had internet connection to update from. I'm currently brewing myself a nice cup of tea, and I must say its splendid to be stationed again.

Travelling is fun, but nothing beats settling into a hideout and stalking one target for a few weeks... Teasing the sanity of a doomed patient, hanging a puppet by his strings... The fear breeds and infects everyone and then you reap the harvest.

I was never very good at farming, though... Soil is good for one thing and one thing alone, really. Decomposition.

What a head-rush. I keep getting them. Hehe guess it has something to do with my blood, doesn't it? Bloody blood blood. Black like burnt wood... Changing. I'm not sure who to blame for this new color scheme, but hey; nothing like learning  new tricks.

Speaking of new tricks, there are a few I'm excited to show off. Oh pshaw, shut your mouth, boy. Enough talk, more action. Why am I talking to myself? Heh. Too much time alone. Need some more social activity, or I'll snap. I'll have to get myself a dose of Dia, Shady and... Hehe Mr. Black. Ironic, isn't it? Black blood, Black's blood. Almost prophetic. Prophetic. Is that even the right word? Hehehe do I feel another head-rush coming on, or is this just a strong cup of tea?

Anyways, I'm not back in good old Jersey yet, but I will be posting from my new outpost while I clear things up where I'm at. When I do get myself back to the east coast, I've got to schedule an appointment with dear old Proctor.

Do that, do this, schedule that, kill him, mutilate her, what's up with everyone trying to boss me around lately? Sheesh. Its a good thing I love my job.

Another head-rush. Man, my eyes hurt... Itchy... Ugh. This is a bad way to start the week. No calling in sick for me, I have lots to do. I'm going to take a sample of my new blood and run some tests, I'm very interested in seeing what happens. Hehehe. I'm my own test subject! Funny...

Oh my head. I bet you're all enjoying my suffering, aren't you? Sick little monsters. Hehehe.

Well, I better scoot! If I don't get to work now, I'll never finish. Be back soon to update once my head clears.

Its good to be back.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Party Potion

Surprises are the best. Cliffhangers are pretty fun too. Leaving someone hanging on the edge of their seat, wondering what will happen next... Hehe almost as fun as planning the surprise in the first place. Do you like surprises? 

Hehe good news! I've selected the names for three of my latest projects: "Venus", "The Water of Life", oh and my favorite "Party Potion". Fun with chemicals, kids! 

Now that you know what I've listed them as, you can try and guess as to what these wonderful little mixtures do and then when the big premiere show comes around we can all watch and see what happens. Who knows, I may be just as surprised as you are ;) Hehehe.

Oh so many things to discuss. Where to begin... 

Paper. I have lots of it. What's special about paper you say? Hehe not the paper itself but what is written on the paper. Expect casualties in Jersey, dear readers! Hehe I'm trying to decide if I should do things alphabetically or just... you know... random selection. I'll flip a coin on it later. 

How was everyone's Valentines Day? Steal any hearts? Dissect anything? Hehe I had an interesting day. Climbed some trees, took some high quality photographs from a distance... The usual. I almost visited my darling Shady, in fact I was dressed for the occasion in my sharpest tuxedo, but while I was sauntering through the woods, the boss popped out of nowhere. It was bit frustrating, to be honest. What a way to kill my plans for the evening. I headed home, sat down, and started writing. I jotted down at least ten pages worth of names and locations. Apparently, I'm back on the clock.

Technically, I was never off the clock... I was just sitting around, playing with the available toys in my corner of the world, waiting for the big guy to give me a target. Working with The Executor was my last official assignment, or at least that is the last one that comes to mind, and since then I've basically just been shooting from the hip. I wonder why tall and lanky seems so interested in keeping me busy... Very curious. Hehe

Speaking of cats, DoctorProctor's curious case has reached a whole new level of weird. I find it hysterical. When I heard the news, I nearly died laughing... Hehe all this strange "Spirit-body-exchange-body-spirit" crap is really not my forte. Thuggly tried explaining it to me and its really very boring. Too many words, far too superstitious... I'm sure Mystery would be very interested in the situation, if she wasn't off on some wild chase to find The Executor. The little witch and I never did have the pleasure of meeting one another. Hehehe I'll have to change that...

Would you like that, Shady? Would you like it if I found your insignificant runaway friend and had her for tea? Hehehe. Oh I wonder how my chemicals would react to her. What blood type is she? Just wondering.

Oh, and Dia, if you're reading this... Hi there. ;) Knock knock?

I've been formulating wonderful plans for Joshua's gun, in fact I was just practicing my quick draw earlier. I am surprisingly good at it. Odd, I don't enjoy guns very much... Hehehe but they sure do look great.  

Hmmm... let me think... What am I forgetting... It was important.

Gingerbread cookies. Now I remember. I've got to keep deep tissue massages in mind. 

I'll make another update sometime soon. I'll be watching the Fright Night footage tonight. Fun fun fun! Anyone want to share some popcorn ;)?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A Spoon Full Of Sedatives Helps The Gunman Go Down

Oh my little students... guess what...

Hehehe I got myself a free gun! But wait-- Not only was it free, but its also the property of an annoying little boy who tried to kill my darling Shady. Oh the things that I can do with this pretty little thing... Not like I couldn't have gotten a gun on my own, but this is a special little beauty. Snerk snerk, maybe I'll have some fun with it. How would you feel about that Shady? How would Joshy-boy feel about it ;)?

Speaking of Shady... It breaks my heart to hear about all the crap you're dealing with, it really does. And right before Valentines Day too! However, I'm very proud of you for finally making the right decisions. When you kill lovely Lenore, can I have the body? Or wait-- Maybe you could record yourself smashing her skull in when you do it. Could be a wonderful Valentine's gift

If you're in the market for sweets, I prefer dark chocolate. Red roses, with plenty of thorns. Do you like roses? Hehehe no, I think I have something in mind you'll like more... If you're not feeling well, maybe you can convince Brood to let me visit you for a little dinner date sometime. I'm sure, in your current condition, you could convince him with a few crocodile tears. Just kidding, I would never ask you to degrade yourself like that. Hehe if he won't let me visit you, I'll simply have to kill a few more people to convince him. What chemical weapon should I use first? Hehehe...

Oh wait, let's pause. That reminds me!

Are you refrigerating those chemicals I gave you baby? The consequences for letting them spoil will be...  very very scented. I would tell you more but you know how I feel about spoilers.

On another topic, there's a new blogger on the block who goes by the name of Frank. I like this kid a lot actually, reading his blog reminds why I enjoy what I do so much... In fact, it inspired me to get out of the house and do some work around town. More details on that later!

I've had quite a month indeed. I saved the damsel in distress from getting shot, finished the cast list for my play, made some very important calls, took pictures of a cat, started working on my latest project (Inspired by Dia, of all people) and well... just had a lot of clean wholesome fun, y'know?

Am I the only one who finds it repulsing how dull this planet is some days? Humankind has lost its vision. Nowadays, only the truly refined can admire the beauty of what I do.

But that's what you're here for, right? You want me to teach you how to admire the masterpiece that is murder. Oh, and I shall... Hehehe I shall indeed.

That's why I made this blog, isn't it? To bring you into the future. It's inevitable.

First, I'll change Shady. Then, I'll change the world... and then I'll tap dance my way across the world, pouring acid on the faces of anyone who resists.

Oh well look at me, thinking big. Hehehe that's not even the biggest part of my plan though, I can't spill all the tricks. That would be silly. There's quite a few surprises in store for all of you, and until I start really working... well until I start really working, I'll do whatever jobs the big man gives me. No runner is safe, you know?

Did I mention that list I found that I had misplaced so long ago? I can't recall...

BRILLIANT. What's brilliant? I can't remember. But I will, and that's brilliant as well. Hehehe I always remember eventually.

Dark poetry. Oh the teenage years. Why do I have so much of this stuff? Haha I was sick even as an adolescent. Adorable.

The dreams are back. Weird dreams. I blame him. The big guy. Man, I can't keep my mind on one topic at a time can I? Pity I haven't finished my Fright Night recollections... Tsk tsk, get your head on straight, boy-o... Hahaha because my head needs to be straightened out, right ;)?

I'll make sure to finish that as soon as possible. I just don't have enough time to go over the footage and refresh my memory, but as soon as I finish the meat I already have on my plate I'll be sure to check it out. It'll be so much fun :3 Like a trip down memory lane.

Memory lane is quite gory... Hehehe

Gosh look at the time, look at the time. I wish I could chat for a little longer but there are things to do and basements to bloody. I'll update you again soon. Very soon, hopefully. :)

Ciao amici,

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Kidney Pie

It's what's for dinner! Oh, no not my dinner. Some family out in Nebraska. They wanted their beloved pet Rufus returned and, you know me, I'm a sucker for a "Long lost, now reunited" story. So, they got a treasured family pet and a delicious meal all in one! Sounds like a good deal to me!

Hmm, I'm not a big fan of cannibalism but I can't help wonder... How's your kidney taste, Shady? ;)

To be honest, it was a little hard to let go of dearest Rufus. He was nearly the perfect specimen to use for testing my new recipe for genetic mutation. Unfortunately, he couldn't handle the first phase of the experiment and, to be blunt, exploded into many tiny pieces all over my basement. Looked a lot like confetti, but definitely did not smell like confetti. I had a moment of nostalgia as it reminded me of Fright Night. Remind me to include a room next year full of exploding domestic animals. That'll give PETA a kick! Hehehe. But wait, I lost my point. It was hard to let go of the little beast's remains simply for the fact that his reaction to the chemicals was so extreme, I almost wish I had kept them for study. I did the nice thing though and returned him to his family :)

Reunited and it feels so good.

Speaking of Fright Night, I've decided to drag the story out as long as possible, by request of darling Dia ;)

I have 5 minutes before -- NO SPOILERS --  is finished baking, so if I include part 3 of the events at Fright Night or not in this update will depend on if I can finish writing before I run out of time. Just know that the story will be sectioned off into several parts, some longer than others.

I bet you're curious to what it is I've been up to since my last post was made. Well, besides reading up on some blogs and chasing down a few old...umm... projects, I've been throwing around some chemicals, practicing medical procedures, sharpening some knives and perfecting my aim with a dart gun. What can I say, I have a lot to prepare for.

For some reason, my computer keeps freezing up, so I think that is a sign that I need to get back to work. Sigh. I'm in a surprisingly bad mood suddenly. I guess I'll have to go burn something down, I need a pick me up.

Great, and now the sudden headaches... What's that smell? Is that... cinnamon? Hehehehe. Can you smell that? Maybe not yet, but maybe you will ;)

I'll be back. Oh yes. I'll be back. Talk to you soon.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Special People

Hello again, kiddies. We've been very busy bees over here at Advocate Industries (We do what we do, because we can) since the last post was made. It seems that I'm not the only scissor cutting strings, though, and not all of my co-workers are exactly working for the same goal as I am...

Hey though, at least in the end I can look back and be proud of the art I've produced, and if any schmuck gets in the way of my masterpiece... well, I think the Boss will let me have my fun. He always has ;D

What was my point though? Never mind, let's jump to the next topic.

Cats. I love them personally. They're great companions, and always feel up to volunteering for my projects. BUT not only do they have fun personalities, they also have wonderful claws. Quite fun at parties. Dogs are nice too, but for different reasons. Cats though... they just have it all figured out.

As for black cats... well, I have one in mind that needs to be dealt with.

Shady, Shady, Shady... If only you and I could have another extended vacation together... So much to talk about.

Thuggee says hi, by the way. I know that he and I have had our differences, considering how he threw you around last year... but he's tolerable as a business partner.

He's a nut... a complete nut. Saner than I am, though. Maybe completely sane. That is what is weird... He gets inside your head, too. Like the Boss, but without the headaches.

Of course, I don't have a death wish (sometimes), so I'm keeping my distance from him. Associating with him doesn't exactly draw friendly attention. Even the big guy hates him. Executor and him have some kind of war going on...

I'm special though. I can cross the battlefield without having to worry about getting shot. Even Shady won't kill me.

Oh but look at me, rambling again. I lost my point... Cats... No, that's not what I wanted to talk about...

What would you do if you woke up one morning and found that everything you believed was a lie? Hehehe... Now I sound like Doc Proc.

Topic: The Fright Night. Now here's something that I can focus on. Part 2: Sexy times beneath the Gallow's tree ;)

Ms. Lady's party experience began in The Office, a blank white room modeled after a familiar Asylum. By her account on her blog, she cannot help but admit that I have a great sense of humor. Love you too babe. Too bad you stuck around for a tad too long and had to suffer the penalty for lingering in that room...

Bygones, I suppose. If you've read anyone's retelling of my party before, you'll know that I just can't resist chattering on the loud speaker. So I did. Maybe I monologue a bit, but I don't think anyone was complaining by the end of the night.

It didn't take long for Shady to get distracted by the next room. She crossed the New Jersey Times room, examining its newspaper covered walls, interested, but once again I had to usher her along to the next room. If I hadn't been working on a schedule, I would've allowed her to bask in the documented glory... Hehehe I would have let you all linger and enjoy my Themed Rooms.

She moved on to the next room. The Happy House. One of my favorite rooms... Previous volunteers who either succeeded or failed my tests, packed into cages and left to burn with the rest of the mansion. Do you lament that they could not be saved, Shady? Part of me would have liked to keep them for further examination... but there is only so much you can do with a broken mind.

This room is where Dia and Shady bumped into each other for a bit. Boring, in my opinion. May as well have been a knitting club encounter. Would've been quite a show if they had lingered 12 more seconds. That's live television for you.

The two little girls skipped off together into a dark room, and you already know how Monsieur Ferus handled things... Hehe so exciting.

Seperated, Shady ran off to the School House to meet with dearest Josie and Dia... well, Dia learned not to trust strangers.

Jeez, I really did teach some life lessons that night... To me, its all a bit blurry. I may be mixing the order of events up, I can't quite recall, but I think the memories I created will linger for a long, long time. Maybe forever.

I guess we'll see. I've been at this computer all day playing with coding, and writing emails to send to far off individuals, and I'm getting bored, so I'll hop along again soon to write up the next part of my retelling.

Hehe see you soon ;)

Friday, January 6, 2012

Cleaning House

Time to get down to business.

Oh yes. Business. Hehe let's all put on our ties and jackets and get to work, shall we?

Where to begin, where to begin... Oh, here's an idea: Fright Night.

Has it really been so long? November seems so far away... But oh, I won't forget that glorious explosion. I think the girls thought it was pretty sexy ;)

Propane, like a boss. I guess you could say that Fright Night ended with a bang. But enough with the puns! Are my ears still ringing?

Memories... THAT is how you make a memory. You take a common cliche and you make it special. How'd you enjoy my finale, girls and boys?

Have you been eagerly anticipating this update? I'm sure you have. Why else would you be here if you didn't adore my stories? Hehehe...

Let's discuss cleaning. Cleaning what you say? Cleaning house. Most people use Windex, I prefer to use fire. Everything burns. Propane just adds to the fun!

The party started off swimmingly. Josie was there. She's a doll. Hehehe. Shady attended, though I doubt she really had any other choice. ;) She can't stay away from my body. I work out. I remember seeing Ferus, he's a fun guy. Fawkes... Hehehe I can't say his name with a straight face. And he kinda talks funny too. Graves and Gallows, the inseparable pair, showed up and were quite the party animals. I think Gallows and I could be very very good friends... And lets not forget everyone's favorite; Dia!

Do I spy a double date between Shady and I with Gallows and Dia in the future?

We're all so cute together <3

I can't wait for Valentines Day... Hehehe

Anyways, enough about love.

Things started out with Dia showing up a tad bit too early and entering the warehouse using the key I had supplied her with. She ended up entering my TV Tunnel, a special themed room elaborately designed of a bunch of TV's that are playing a multitude of wonderful videos that I've created over the course of my long career. Some were animations depicting the imaginary deaths of a few of my visiting guests, some were videos of me torturing past victims, and some were of my guests going about their every day lives while I observed them from a distance... Most of said stalking footage was of Shady, but whose keeping track?

She got fixated on that stupid room and started wasting my time, so I shut the TV's off and opened the automated exit door that would lead her into the next room. A shame, she got the message before I had to "encourage" her to move on. Hehehe. When I was a kid I did Boy Scouts for a short time, so it wasn't hard to remember the importance of being prepared. Oh the good old boring days of my youth. Beforehand, I had installed "encouragement" systems in every part of the warehouse maze for guests that lingered too long in one room.

Oh, and by the way, snails are trending.

All of my observation was done from the security room attached to the maintenance hall located near the back of the warehouse, locked down so no kiddies would accidentally stumble in upon me and ruin my fun. Occasionally I would use my nifty little ladder to ascend the catwalk above the warehouse and observe the party goers more intimately. Silly little Narnians.

What was I saying? Oh, snakes! Right. Both dearest Dia and Fawkes were weaving their ways through the maze now, very close to encountering each other. I was on the edge of my seat every time they crossed a common intersection, but sadly this isn't reality TV so nothing too dramatic happened with these two. Though, I was simply delighted by Ferus' performance in the Black Chamber. Sneaky little creep with his cigars (Or was it a cigarette? I can't remember which it was) and machetes. Oh Ferus, tobacco can kill you... Hehehe

What does any of this have to do with snakes? Well, it so happens that I designed a very special room for Dia with a very moody snake I like to call the Grinch. It's a shame she fled the room as soon as the Grinch retreated behind some brush, I would have loved to see her reaction to the "encouragement" system. Fawkesy's reaction to my snake was less entertaining, to say the least. Poor timing on the Grinch's part, I think. Stupid PMSing snake.

Gallows and Graves, well they were an inseparable pair as always. By the time these two were actively participating in the festivities, I had already started dissecting a dismembered arm from a few projects ago. I recall looking up from my work, noticing Gallows and Dia in the Mannequin House and becoming mildly interested in their relationship...

Compared to Gallows, I might as well be the Love Doctor and have a Ph.D. in romance. But despite his social awkwardness, I have no doubt that he knows how to get a girls heart, though ;)

If you didn't catch the joke, you should take a bath in gasoline while holding a lit match.

Oh crap, that reminds me. I have to go start a fire...

I guess I've ran out of time for today kids, I'll be back later to post the rest of this update.

See you later!