About Me

Monday, April 16, 2012

1:07 AM Is The Best Time To Do The Dishes

Well, I'm just surrounded by an assortment of trouble aren't I? Hehe I've gotten pretty good at this whole "making friends" bit. It seems that The Executor was pretty irritated by my recent alliance with Thuggly! Don't be so jealous, Bonny Lad. Its nothing personal. Ha. Its business, that's all. Thuggly and I have a deal going right now that is just too sweet to resist. Once I've made a few life insurance payments, I'll be back to working for the big guy full-time. Hehe everybody wins! Don't let it frustrate you that I can work both sides of the fence and you can't.

Besides, I still have the list the boss gave me on Valentine's Day. So... technically we're still co-workers :) At least until I finish this project. Then I'll spend a few months cleaning house for Thuggly, invest time into perfecting my most recent chemical weapons, and put on the biggest fireworks show in the history of nuclear warfare... Did I mention I was writing a play? Its a musical. I've been working on the cast list for a while. Its going to be delightful. A real theatrical triumph! Snails are still very much the latest trend. 

Oh, I went over my To Do list yesterday... I have quite a lot to do, its true! Its almost depressing. How am I ever going to manage to set aside quality time for my lovely dove and I? I'll do it, I will! Hehe where there is a will, there is gasoline and a lighter! I jotted down a few additional notes today:

1. Call Shady
2. Venus trial at resort, don't forget sponges
3. Locate #32
4. Deal with #31 (Ashley Smith is a doozy, remember Party Potion)
5. Remember to bring ashtray from basement
6. Order C4
7. Send package to Gallop and Gravity

Oh, let me pause for a moment. Number seven has been on my mind all day. Hehe keep your eyes open for a surprise, girls and boys! I just shipped a very special order to an acquaintance of mine. Cross that off the list...  

Besides the above mentioned chores, I have some other things listed for memories sake. I have a terrible knack of forgetting matters of importance... Oh, that reminds me. I need to prepare a package for the Doctor! Hehehe Shady, you're going to enjoy this. What fun the three of us are going to have together. Now, before you start poking at me aggressively, you should know that he was the one who extended an invitation to meet for tea. Well, maybe he didn't invite me over for tea specifically but he did invite me for a good old fashioned reunion! We're all behaving so wonderfully civil, aren't we. HA. 

Wait, let me get a pencil... Okay, we're good. I'll call you soon, babe <3 It would really be healthier for everyone if you picked up when I did so. Thanks for understanding, dear. ;)

I recently began recording my body's reactions to certain situations/environments/emotions/chemicals/etc, and I find that while writing I experience 50% more migraines and head rushes than at any other time of the day. Fascinating, isn't it? Don't get me started on the changes in my genetic structure, the alteration of my blood's color and the heightened sense to-- Oops, the rest of this sentence is not available and/or could not be located due to its high spoiler content. Error code: Sucks for you. Hehehe.

Pros and cons of genetic alterations... saving this to record... Wee, loading screen...

Anyhow, I lost my train of thought... Ten years ago. ;) Hehe. 

The Executor, don't stress your pretty little mind about me. I'm just having fun. You're going to let me have my fun. Why wouldn't you? Hehe nothing to fear but fear himself. I'm going to spend some time having fun, wrecking some lives, building some alliances, manufacturing bombs and then we'll see what I do next. I do believe that you and I are equally unaware of where all roads lead, I guess we can be surprised together when we get there! We'll have a celebration then, maybe you can let me borrow one of your schnazzy looking suits for the occasion. Haha. Speaking of parties... Octobor is steadily approaching, isn't it? I've got a theme in mind for Fright Night 2012. Maybe you'd like to visit the dance floor, eh?

Hehe I'm so freaking good at making friends. I should write a book. Or a blog. Ha!

You know, Ashley Smith has turned out to be a big pain in the butt. She's a dame I could live without. In fact, give me a week and we'll see if she can keep up this game of evasion... I'll have quite a prize when I catch her, won't I? She's done a fine job of running, but I'm sure she'll try and make a stand soon. She's a stereotypical Running Gun, like I said before...They all try and play the hero eventually. 

I'll admit, she's good. I caught on to her secret ploy at the restaurant when I originally located and contacted her, but I was probably the first to hunt her and realize that she was playing scared. The overemphasized nervousness, the painfully obvious pistol she kept "concealed" on her, her messy appearance... Nobody who acts like that could have killed as many pursuers as she has. The sleep-deprived appearance isn't hard to fake if you know what you're doing. 

With a good disguise and above average acting skills, I bet she fooled a lot of proxies into underestimating her. Hehehe but she couldn't fool me, could she? Too bad that thing had to screw it all up. Now she's running around, trying to avoid me like a fly dodging a swat. Eh, I'll deal with her tomorrow. Or maybe I could take a midnight run to town and set the ball rolling. We'll see how I feel in an hour... Yawn. I'm not exactly in the mood to prowl tonight. When I find her, she won't realize I'm on her heels. Tomorrow, next week, next month... doesn't particularly matter to me. 

Alright, time to go do something productive. Look at me, wasting time that I could be using testing my recipes! I blame this on all of you. Hehehe my students. I just like you all that much ;)

Hmm... You know what's irritating? Dishwashers. 

Until I decide to mutilate another person and write about it, 

SEE YOU SOON, KIDS. Hehe. I've got so much more to write about.


  1. Working both sides does not appeal to me, nor does it to Him. You're considered a traitor and rejected. Humorous; that's not the only thing rejecting you these days, is it?

    1. Awww Bonny Lad, don't be like that! Hehe don't you remember all of the good times with dear Shady when we were torturing her? No? Heh. I guess I shouldn't expect appreciation from an over-glorified secretary, anyways... ;)

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. Says the man that has to kidnap the woman he claims to be his "girlfriend"; tsk.

    4. Hehe Executor, sounds like you're trying hard. Overcompensating? Hehe having trouble "Executing"?

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    5. Or hardly trying; I wonder why you would be curious about that, or what its significance is. I am certainly not going to do such a thing during our conversation. Which leads me to ask: are you trying to get me to "execute"? Not interested, child.

    6. Whoa buddy, ha, I didn't mean it like that! Don't worry, I know you and the Tall Man have an exclusive relationships. Nasty, hormone crazy kids. Yuck. I guess it works, though... Dirty secretary at the office. Ew. Hehe

    7. I do not have a secretary office; nor do we couple. Your information seems as faulty and flawed as yourself. If I cared at all I would be concerned on your sanity... oh wait. That does not exist.

    8. Hehehe are you seriously just catching on to that, boy? Ha not very quick, eh? Better to lack sanity than intelligence, I always say. ;)

      If you don't feel comfortable letting yourself out of the closet yet, it's cool. Hehe I mean, its not like people don't already assume that that is the only reason the Tall Man keeps you around still. Hehe

    9. I am concerned as to why you are so fixated on my sexuality. Is it to blind you from the fact you highly resemble Thuggee's previous lapdog? There too is a reason you are kept around by him. Come now, boy; there are far too many connections on your end as well.

    10. Are you two still bickering like schoolchildren? I mean, jeeez...

    11. The difference between you and I, Executor, is really this:

      You operate through people's dreams. Translation: While random strangers are in bed, you're crawling around in their fantasies. Hmmm... Kinky. Hahaha.

      Amy, your maturity is adorable. Please, proceed to tell us how we are like schoolchildren.

      Hoho, this is just way too much fun.

    12. So I have been told, repeatedly; mostly by "your" woman. Especially on the nights I "crawl" in for a visit. Tell me, are you mad you cannot do the same?

    13. My maturity? Ha, that IS pretty cute to hear. I'm off fucking with Twilight and other cutesy little proxies like you, and you're calling me mature?

      I'm just saying.

      One of you operates through dreams, rather than caring enough to do anything in person. All plan, no action, besides a very select few.

      You, Advy, do everything through sickening plots and silly little antics. Your plans are lacking, and your endgame would suffer even MORE if you claimed some sanity. Thank god you don't.

      All I'M saying is that you two would be better off, I dunno, comparing notes or something. Rather than fighting over who has the best toys.

    14. Toys, Amy? Hehe do you have a lot of "toys"? Haha!

      Bonny Lad, I don't feel the need to brag about what I do when I'm with Shady. You on the other hand... I understand that you feel the need to pump yourself up. :,) We all accept you despite your Executor Dysfunction. Hehehe what am I saying, we all think you're a skank. ;D

      As for what Shady does when we aren't together, well... She always manages to find her way right back to me, doesn't she? Dirty hoe. Love her anyways.

    15. Coming from the man that has a fetish for impaling needles into people. Do I see a hidden message? Why yes, yes I do.

    16. So.. there's Executor, with the "rapist" vibes thanks to the victims having no choice about his visits in bed and in their dreams. Then, there's Advy with his phallic imagery and bondage kinks.

      Pot, meet kettle.

    17. Alright, Executor, you caught me. The hidden message... its... its... I admit it... I...

      I like acupuncture. ;)

      So, Amy does that make you the teapot? The girl that sleeps with a poor innocent little boy and essentially dooms him to a never-ending Hell of a life?

      Hehe maybe I'm giving you too much credit. I'm sure he will ADORE all of the new friends he'll make once we're all together. ;)

    18. That wasn't so hard.

      Amy, you flatter me. I hate flattery.

    19. Advocate, Executor: I laughed for a second, and then the thought of both of you reminded me just how much I resent each of you.


      Amy: Don't know where the fuck you came from, but nice job. That description sums them up nicely.

    20. I'm a little teapot
      Short and stout
      Here is my handle
      Here is my spout
      When I get all steamed up
      Hear me shout
      "Tip me over
      and pour me out!"

      I have no trouble burning you, Advy darling. I have yet to see you impress me, and you've been working for a mighty long time to fail so hard.

      Executor.. you'd hate me either way.

      Shady, thank you. I should really learn to start paying attention to those email notifications of mine. To think, I almost let Advy get away with insulting me. -_-

  2. You lampshade everything you do, Advy. Is there some reason for that? Do you want to be stopped, or do you just like forcing us to listen to you rant?