About Me

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Countdown Begins: Now.

Hehehe well look at this… Turkey Day already!

I love stuffing… Mmmmm delicious. With a side of Shady, down right extra-ordinary ;)

Why do they call it a gravy boat?

Anyways, I’m a bundle of joy on this splendorous day! My beautiful Lady and I have had a most magnificent time together; it makes me so sad to think that it’s coming to an end. Oh well, better to have known love and to have lost than to have never stuck it in the back with a sterilized needle <3

Tomorrow is Fright Night 2011, and I must say it’s going to be a very small, intimate get together ;)

I can barely contain my excitement. The rooms I’ve designed for your viewing pleasure are simply pieces of artwork from a misunderstood genius.

But that will change… Hehe

So let me update you on a few things:

First and foremost, I have been in close contact with my guests. I’ve supplied them with a wonderful array of information concerning how the party will work (But withholding all of the surprises, of course) and I think I’ll be posting some of the conversations here just for giggles.

I just have to say, small talk with Ferus was amusing. He should have his own talk show. Hehe watch out Oprah…

As for Ike… Don’t self mutilate yourself too much; I need you to be in good shape for when your time comes. Which could be sooner or later.

Secondly, Shady finally warmed up to me over a romantic blow torch lit dinner ;) After a couple of days of getting to know each other and intense verbal foreplay I think I finally pierced her heart. Figuratively speaking… Hehehe

When I’m trying to cook something edible, I cook it well. I should audition for the next season of Top Chef.

Actually, there a lot of shows I should audition for… Hehe I’m multitalented.

Shady certainly had a lot to drink and ended up getting a little tipsy and rolling all over the place. She’s very entertaining to watch when drunk. She goes through quite a few stages… My favorite stage is when she gives up fighting her emotions and snuggles up to you on the couch… Hehehe

Embarrassed my dear? Don’t be! Don’t hide your love for me from the world.

You and I are a lot alike, you know. We only differ in a few ways… I accept who I am and have fun with it. You deny yourself and pretend to be “yourself”. We both know what runs through that delicious little mind of yours. I think someday you’ll step out of the proverbial closet and join me on my quest to educate the world for the future.

We’ve only got so much time left, darling. 2012 is coming. Hehehehe

But seriously…

You’re missing something, Shady. You’re a translator without a code…

Just a nudge in the right direction and I think you’ll stumble upon a profound revelation. Even now, your thoughts are turning.

You’re so close to sublime ecstasy, but you’re afraid of it… or are you? Hehehe you fascinate me. Do I fascinate you?

Are you fascinated?

Students, the semester is starting up soon. Hehehe are you ready for the next session?

When things settle down again and I get bored, I think I’ll explain a few things about my past. How did I get into this line of business? Have I always been this magnificent? What kind of deodorant do I use? What haven’t I told you?

Speaking of things I haven’t told you…

I’m baking a cake for the party!

Sounds nomnomnom-worthy, right? Hehehe who wants a sample ;)

OH, and Twister is the best game ever.

Besides Hangman…

And scrabble. With dynamite involved.

All right, what am I talking about?

Thanksgiving time, kiddies.

Monday, November 21, 2011

November 25th

I'm very excited. Its no coincidence that I scheduled my day of fun and fear for the day after Thanksgiving. What's more fun than harassing your friends while they're still bloated from Turkey Day? Hehehe.

I'm making this post to drop a little information for all of my lovely guests...

Now that we're approaching the big day, I thought I should fill you in on a few things before we hit the dance floor. 

First things first: Keys. Ye' old warehouse has multiple entrances, and after reserving your spot at the party I'll set a key aside with your name on it. Each key opens a specific door that leads into a special "themed" room of the warehouse. All of the rooms are connected, and you get to crawl around as you please exploring my wonderland. :) 

Now, I know some of my guests have a bit of bad blood between them. Please save all dancing for the dance floor. Hehehe don't worry, everyone will get an opportunity to dance.

The themes of the rooms are a surprise, so you'll just have to wait and see what's waiting to see you ;)

Oh, another note: Please, if you want to murder someone ask for said person's permission to murder them. If they say yes, make sure you let me get it on camera. For memories sake. <3 You know how it is with the big man and memories.

My head is hurting and I have to prepare a romantic dinner for the beautiful Lady waiting for me...I'll post more information later. I need an aspirin. 

Friday, November 18, 2011


Cannibalistic babies. Think about it. Scarier than any horror movie you could ever imagine.

Anyways, what was I going to say? Oh right! Shady and I have had quite a wonderful time together, thus far. On the ride home, Shady was so cute. If I didn't have plans for my own, I'd pull her eyes out of her head and save them forever. Her eyes are lovely. 

Have you ever had one of those magical moments when you make eye contact with a beautiful girl and you suddenly get the urge to move to Alaska and settle down to have a family? Neither have I, but I DID have a wonderful revelation the other day. Oh the things that are running through my mind!

Dear Victor, 
Stop being selfish. You can have Shady later. It's my turn to have fun. 

I still have my employer to lean on if any party crasher's show up. So I suggest you all avoid trying to play the hero. Or the villain. I've been cast as both roles. Hehehe my show. But what kind of a show is it? I've always enjoyed dark musicals. Sweeney Todd is a classic... I am not a fan of meat pies though. 

First day with Shady was very eventful. After getting back to my secret lair, I showed her to the basement showed her my office. Hehehe then we played operation, and she loved it.

Just kidding, we didn't play operation! We played doctor. I patched her more major wounds up with my medical kit (Which Doctor Proctor had so rudely used on Lullaby or... DeMii or whoever it is he knocked up while he was here) and gave her some medication for any possible infections she might have. 

Ferus, you sure did a number on her. Victor, if you wanna eat somebody go eat Ferus. But wait until after the party! 

On the topic of the good old Doctor who turned out to be a divine idiot named Thuggee, I wonder why he knocked DeMii up. Family drama issues... 

Until I can find better accommodations for my dearest doll, she'll be slipping in my office. Hehehe I let her decide if she wanted the chains and whips or not. 

Shady, welcome back to Jersey. I hope you like my house. You'll be staying here until the party... 

Let's get cozy and snuggle up with a cup of tea. Hehehehehe. 

I wonder if she will like the games I have planned for us?

I wonder if you find this post extremely kinky ;)


Monday, November 14, 2011

What A Day

Oh Shady, my dear.

Finally. <3

Its been far too long. You and I... hehe we'll keep this party going until the world stops spinning! I have so many things for us to do together!

Reunited and it feels so good.

Thanks, Executor. I appreciate you sending her my way :D

And now.... oh the things I must do.



So much on my mind, its a beehive in here.

This has been a gorgeous week.

Why do you poison? I do, because I am.

I'm so giddy. Hehehehe.

Everything is wrapping up, and with a bow I leave this here for my guests.


If you're coming to the party, you should RSVP to that email address. I'll respond with details on when and where the party is at. Also, you'll find a very special treat in your inbox. Doors doors doors! Lots of doors, only one warehouse and plenty of rooms for fun little games. Hehehehe.

Well, I don't have much time to talk. I have to go buy batteries for some toys. So I'm going to go now.

See you soon!

P.S. In the spirit of Fright Night, you should prepare a costume for the party :)
P.S.S. Wear something underneath your costume as well. Hehehe you may not be leaving it ;)
P.S.S.S. That's not meant to be sexual, Shady. ;) Hehehe or is it?

Friday, November 4, 2011

Fright Night 2011

Hey kiddos! Its that time of year again! Actually, it was that time of year last month but I was occupied with stalking a potential new jacket :)

Time to throw a (belated) Fright Night Extravaganza in honor of my favorite holiday, Halloween! There will be lots of games and fun to play, like Pin The Dart On The Shady, and Dissect The Kitten! Food and scalpels will be provided, so don't worry about bringing equipment along with you! Oh and lets not forget the big costume context! Just cut off your least favorite neighbor's face and wear it as your mask and whoever has the most intact (and attractive) face wins!

I've rented a white van in case we want to go out on the town for a bit of fun, and I've stocked up on baseball bats and parachute chord!

I bet you're wondering about whether or not you're invited to this little shindig, well I've got good news for you: if you're reading this post you are now officially invited to the party!

Now for the official guest list :)
- TheShadyLady**
- Ferus
- DeMii*
- Lullaby
- Prosper
- The Executor*
- Ike**
- 3HA3CIM3*
- Gallows
- Grave
- Victor**
- Lucas
- Mister Creevey***
- Dia
- Trinity**
- Tim
- Road Runner

Wondering what the asterisks mean? Hehehe well it wouldn't be a party if I spoiled all of the surprises.

If you are available to party, comment with your home address (Or wherever you're currently located :)) and I can come get you! I have plenty of room in my basement where you can wait until the party is ready!

Also, I'll be going to the supermarket to get snacks and drinks. Please, feel free to pick your poison ;)
I can make more posts about Fright Night if you want more details (Like what games we'll be playing and etc), just ask :D

Oh and Thuggee/Doctor Proctor (Whoever the heck he is) isn't invited so you don't have to worry about him crashing the party!

Hehehe and Shady... you and I need to talk. Its been too long. I feel like there is something between us...

Oh and one last thing. Some of you may not want to come to the party because of past "issues" you may have with me... Lets let bygones be bygones. If you don't show up, I might just have to go have a party with your family and friends sometime.

Anyways, I'll see you guys later! I've gotta go collect some kids from the park for the more "cannibalistic" guests.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011



Something doesn't feel quite right, buddies.

Something's up.

Oh, and by the way,

Fright Night is still on. Hehehe its just postponed until a later date...

My head hurts. My stomach feels empty.

I'm hungry.

I wonder what cat tastes like?

Mmmmm I wonder what Shady tastes like.