About Me

Friday, January 6, 2012

Cleaning House

Time to get down to business.

Oh yes. Business. Hehe let's all put on our ties and jackets and get to work, shall we?

Where to begin, where to begin... Oh, here's an idea: Fright Night.

Has it really been so long? November seems so far away... But oh, I won't forget that glorious explosion. I think the girls thought it was pretty sexy ;)

Propane, like a boss. I guess you could say that Fright Night ended with a bang. But enough with the puns! Are my ears still ringing?

Memories... THAT is how you make a memory. You take a common cliche and you make it special. How'd you enjoy my finale, girls and boys?

Have you been eagerly anticipating this update? I'm sure you have. Why else would you be here if you didn't adore my stories? Hehehe...

Let's discuss cleaning. Cleaning what you say? Cleaning house. Most people use Windex, I prefer to use fire. Everything burns. Propane just adds to the fun!

The party started off swimmingly. Josie was there. She's a doll. Hehehe. Shady attended, though I doubt she really had any other choice. ;) She can't stay away from my body. I work out. I remember seeing Ferus, he's a fun guy. Fawkes... Hehehe I can't say his name with a straight face. And he kinda talks funny too. Graves and Gallows, the inseparable pair, showed up and were quite the party animals. I think Gallows and I could be very very good friends... And lets not forget everyone's favorite; Dia!

Do I spy a double date between Shady and I with Gallows and Dia in the future?

We're all so cute together <3

I can't wait for Valentines Day... Hehehe

Anyways, enough about love.

Things started out with Dia showing up a tad bit too early and entering the warehouse using the key I had supplied her with. She ended up entering my TV Tunnel, a special themed room elaborately designed of a bunch of TV's that are playing a multitude of wonderful videos that I've created over the course of my long career. Some were animations depicting the imaginary deaths of a few of my visiting guests, some were videos of me torturing past victims, and some were of my guests going about their every day lives while I observed them from a distance... Most of said stalking footage was of Shady, but whose keeping track?

She got fixated on that stupid room and started wasting my time, so I shut the TV's off and opened the automated exit door that would lead her into the next room. A shame, she got the message before I had to "encourage" her to move on. Hehehe. When I was a kid I did Boy Scouts for a short time, so it wasn't hard to remember the importance of being prepared. Oh the good old boring days of my youth. Beforehand, I had installed "encouragement" systems in every part of the warehouse maze for guests that lingered too long in one room.

Oh, and by the way, snails are trending.

All of my observation was done from the security room attached to the maintenance hall located near the back of the warehouse, locked down so no kiddies would accidentally stumble in upon me and ruin my fun. Occasionally I would use my nifty little ladder to ascend the catwalk above the warehouse and observe the party goers more intimately. Silly little Narnians.

What was I saying? Oh, snakes! Right. Both dearest Dia and Fawkes were weaving their ways through the maze now, very close to encountering each other. I was on the edge of my seat every time they crossed a common intersection, but sadly this isn't reality TV so nothing too dramatic happened with these two. Though, I was simply delighted by Ferus' performance in the Black Chamber. Sneaky little creep with his cigars (Or was it a cigarette? I can't remember which it was) and machetes. Oh Ferus, tobacco can kill you... Hehehe

What does any of this have to do with snakes? Well, it so happens that I designed a very special room for Dia with a very moody snake I like to call the Grinch. It's a shame she fled the room as soon as the Grinch retreated behind some brush, I would have loved to see her reaction to the "encouragement" system. Fawkesy's reaction to my snake was less entertaining, to say the least. Poor timing on the Grinch's part, I think. Stupid PMSing snake.

Gallows and Graves, well they were an inseparable pair as always. By the time these two were actively participating in the festivities, I had already started dissecting a dismembered arm from a few projects ago. I recall looking up from my work, noticing Gallows and Dia in the Mannequin House and becoming mildly interested in their relationship...

Compared to Gallows, I might as well be the Love Doctor and have a Ph.D. in romance. But despite his social awkwardness, I have no doubt that he knows how to get a girls heart, though ;)

If you didn't catch the joke, you should take a bath in gasoline while holding a lit match.

Oh crap, that reminds me. I have to go start a fire...

I guess I've ran out of time for today kids, I'll be back later to post the rest of this update.

See you later!


  1. ...

    -blushes furiously-

    Why must you post this NOW? I feel like the little kid that got their hand stuck in the cookie jar. ><

  2. So Advocate, when's the next party?

    See you around
    - Caged