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Professional sadist. I like playing with chemicals and needles.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A Dog Stuck In A Tree

Hello kids, did ya miss me? Things have been quiet, haven't they? Hehe Thuggee likes to call it the calm before the storm. I prefer to call it BORING. Seriously, I don't know how he manages to post so little! If I had as much free time as he does, I would be updating on a daily basis! But alas, I am a busy man. The summer has been glorious, hasn't it? I've got quite a few things to talk about before I depart for the night.

First things first, Doctor Proctor-- Or should I say, Doctor Black? Hehehe... Doctor Black is finally getting in touch with his "true-self". Mid-life crisis level 99, if you ask me. ;)

Anyways, Slappy, I've been considering your offer for a while now and I think I've come to a fair decision. Do you wear a toupee? No? I guess I knew the answer all along, really, considering that we once shared a host body... Does your new host body wear a toupee? Oh, and by the way YES. That's my answer. Yes. However, in actuality I say no. That's my real answer. So the answer is yes and no. Hey hey hey, now don't get flustered yet! I know that you expected me to suddenly become your best friend, but the fact that we were both Thuggee's tools and that we're practically the same person (Or were, depending on what perspective you'd like to take on the subject) doesn't really matter to me right now. Let me explain what I mean. 

Yes, I agree to a truce. I will not kill you. You will not kill me. Heck, we may even work together on a chemical concoction or two... but that doesn't mean we're team-mates. Don't take it personally, I'm just not one for choosing sides. You should know this by now! 

Call me selfish, but I really only work for my own personal gain. Hehehe look at me, I'm being so straight-forward today! WOO! You know what that means? I'm cutting somebody's ears off today!

Anyways, what was I saying? 

Right. Yes, I won't kill you. No, I'm not going to join you and Shady and your team of Avengers. I'm not going to "fight for the greater good" or aid you in your lunacy. Well, okay maybe I'll budge on the lunacy. Hehehe.

We may be "brothers", but that doesn't mean we're family. Which is a good thing for you, considering the fact that I don't play well with family members. I mean, I killed mommy and daddy (Your mommy and daddy, too, since we were the same person then) and... well, I can't remember what I did to the rest of our relatives. They probably got stiffed too. I don't recall.

You know, it is pretty neat how the mind works, wouldn't you agree? For so long, I had a bunch of black holes in my memory that I could never place, but you filled in all the blanks! Hehehe we had a lot of fun when we were a kid, Doc! I'm surprised the Tall Man visited you so often. I guess he was attracted to my personality, ya? ;) I'm very charismatic. That's what Shady thinks.

So yeah, thanks for meeting with me! I think we're both mildly happy that I didn't kill you on sight. 

Thuggee was pretty peeved, and probably a little surprised, when I was able to resist his control over the host body. Hoo boy, he was causing quite a thunderstorm up in ye' old noggin'. What a headache! He certainly did NOT approve of our conversation. Not one bit. He wanted to cut our negotiations short, but Lord knows you can't tame a wild mind like mine.

Ha, to be honest, Thuggee was starting to lose his grip days before our little business meeting. He was getting sloppy. His memories have been slipping into my dreams since the attack on the Haven, but I never realized that I was seeing behind a curtain until I started getting these weird thoughts...

Does "Overthrowing gods and kingdoms" seem like the kind of thing I'd fantasize about while strolling through the back alleys of a city? Haha.

Anyways, Thuggee and I wrestled for control a smidgen after you left and then we finally decided to talk it out like a pair of gentlemen. As EQUALS. He's not such a bad guy, Doc, once you get passed the whole "psychotic megalomaniac god" bit. He's a tad misunderstood, really. Hehehe.


Long story short, we shook on a lucrative deal  and I am now the ONLY resident of our old host body! NO ROOMMATES ALLOWED! Ha, finally.

Oddly enough, I feel like Thuggee took a portion of my remaining sanity when he transferred to his new host.  Feels like I just drank a refreshing glass of iced water! Hohoho, Merry Christmas!

EVERYBODY IS A SICK PUPPY TONIGHT, BOYS AND GIRLS!

I'm going to bring this post to conclusion soon, BUT DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL! I'll be posting again before the night is over, little doves! 

Until I finish up my second post for the evening, go kill something. I expect to hear a full report upon my return! HAHA!
~tA


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