Intellectuals Around The World

Gross. Shady is off to who-knows-where, and I have to find her again. 

You're lucky, beautiful. You got away before I could set up my observation equipment. I had solar powered cameras and everything, ready to set up... You spoil all my fun, sometimes.

Then again, I do enjoy a good chase. 

I've been writing a lot of poetry lately. I like expressing myself through the arts, but unfortunately I ran out of bodies to write on. My basement floor is a mess. Hehehehe. I've got to restock my fridge. 

People really should be thanking me for what I do. I keep the New Jersey population count under control. ;)

Speaking of babies, I bet Mystery feels like she's starring in a new season of Degrassi. Hehehe. Geez, I tried to warn you guys. I'm not really interested in fornicating, so I found it pretty nasty that they kept... you know... having fun in the basement. I WAS fascinated by Doctor P's use of my medical equipment... I chose a bad day to sterilize that crap. Sterilization is overrated, from now on I will let my victim's clean my tools with their tongues alone. 

Oh Lullaby, seeing as I'm technically to blame for you and Doc ever meeting, is it okay if I babysit? Can I be its uncle? 

Bah, you people bore me. I've never really been interested in any of you, excluding Shady. Mystery, you need to find friends that aren't dead. Seriously, talking to ghosts and stuff is just creepy. And no, the people that live with you aren't your friends. Someday, when the chips are down, they'll stand by you no matter what. REAL friends would know that you're not worth keeping around and leave you to die. :) 

The test of true friendship is whether or not they let you inject them with poisonous chemicals... That's trust! 

I do it all the time, actually. That's why I don't have very many friends :) Hehehehe.

But seriously, Lullaby, you should just jump out a window. You're boring and I thought we could be friends, but you're too selfish. Doc, you can shoot yourself. I don't like you.

Speaking of Doc, I might need to be seeing one soon. Hehehe I'm dreaming again, and only wonderful things come from my dreams! Only problem is that my dreams are acting funny. I keep seeing other people in the dreams... completely irrelevant people. The Executor... Mystery and some other crazies from her group... Some soldier punks in uniform... the big man himself...

That isn't even the beginning of the weirdness... 

Oh well, why am I even talking about this? It's not like I'm questioning my sanity or anything... Hehehehe

How are you, my intellectual followers? Have you punished your neighbor's dog for his obnoxious barking? Have you pushed your rebellious child into a lawn mower yet?

I want to know how all of you are, because my students inspire me.

Also, anyone got any suggestions on where the little lady I be searching for can be found, yaaarrr?

~tA

Magicians Love Acid

Aw Shady, my darling. Thuggee busted you up good. Serves you right, bad girl. You didn't even play along with my game.

Hehehe oh well, no matter how boring Doctor P and Lullaby were I still enjoyed the adrenaline rush involved in capturing them. Doc was a lot easier to nab than I thought he would be. It was a little disappointing.

I feel like a magician sometimes. I never reveal my tricks, and even the tricks I reveal aren't really revealed until I reveal them for real. Hehehe you catch my drift?

I have a hilarious story about a magician, actually. Have you ever switched a magician's regular deck of playing cards with a deck of playing cards coated in highly volatile chemicals? It's the BEST kind of show. I'm not much of a gambler, but I do love Vegas' magicians and performers. It gives me great opportunities to play around and try some new tricks in front of the public eye, without actually being in the public eye.

Geez, I've been dizzy lately. My eyes were kinda red this morning, I guess I'm not sleeping well or something. I can't remember actually waking up, to be honest... or falling asleep. Its in the job description, I guess.

I'm realizing how many times I say "I guess" and "Anyways" and other stuff like that. Hehehe repetitive brain, cycling through the words I use every day. Oh golly gee, psychology <3 Or something like that.

Well, I guess I should tell you about my day. I really only did one thing.... hehehehe I grabbed my favorite pair of stalking shoes and went out to creep. Shady looked so pretty today. You really have a great complexion when you're enraged at those idiots who call themselves MASC. I was almost tempted to sneak into the mansion for a closer look... your security isn't the greatest, honey.

But I didn't. Maybe I'll stop by and say hi tomorrow. I think I'm gonna go do something productive, this blog is distracting me from my science projects. I bought a couple of puppies earlier. Got wonderful plans, wonderful plans indeed! Do you like biochemical warfare? Do chemists turn you on? ;)

Hehehe I'm feeling spunky today. So spunky. I think you'd find it cute, Shady.
~tA

P.S. MY HANDS ARE TWITCHING. BRING ME DRUGS FOR MY A.D.D. WHEN YOU COME BY. I CAN'T WRITE LIKE THIS D:

Bored

Shady never came... Not even for two hostages! Hehehe I guess you just don't care, do you? I thought you would find me... I thought you would come and try and save them... Women are so unpredictable.

I'll just have to get you to come to my house for tea some other way. If I wasn't so moody today, I'd go do something nasty to Lullaby for the sake of getting a nice reaction from you. Shady. I want to see your face. I want your vengeance. Come on, don't you remember all the fun times we had with The Executor? You're so self absorbed, you don't even care about me anymore do you? Stupid Thuggly stealing your affection... I thought this whole bit with Lullaby would get me some brownie points. I guess I'm just gonna have to do something EVEN BIGGER to get your attention.

Hehehe why is it so cold suddenly? Stupid New Jersey weather. I hate you. I have a funny story about my pet hamster and a microwave but... I'm just not feeling it today.

Fine. Have them back. I'm letting them go. They're boring anyway. All they did was sit down in the basement and act like a bunch of... hehehe... I'll let them tell you about it. I wish I could see their faces when they do.

I was tempted to go down there a couple of times to interrupt them, but... Actually, I don't remember why I stayed upstairs. I remember having a headache. I think I drank too much or something. What did I drink? I can't even remember. I like gin and tea. It was one of those. I can't remember if I dropped something in it to give it an extra kick or not... I just remember... stuff. Never-mind. 

Bah, my head is being funny. I'm just gonna get this post over with and go, I need to go kill somebody.

Basically, Lullaby and Doctor will be back at the mansion later. I'm letting them go. I didn't have any fun with them or anything, they were completely boring and lame. It's more fun to harass them publicly, with paranoia and stuff.

It's gross seeing those two together... Not my type of entertainment.

Next time Doctor gets on my nerves, I might just kill him. As for Lullaby... hehehe, well that's a different case.

Okay well...
I'M BORED. Bye.
~tA

Oppertunity, bless my soul!

Why hello there. I've got a lot of topics to cover today, and I'll start at the top of the list.

Breaking development: Thuggee. What a chump. I'm not the jealous type, but this weirdo is pushing my buttons. I hate it when people touch my stuff. This freak psychic egomaniac is creeping on my Lady. Bub, that's my job. I'm on the fence about him, he's got power but he lacks style. He shows up, upstaging me and stealing my spotlight... He's got nothing on the big man, but he certainly does know how to make a statement.

I can't decide whether or not to hate him or admire him. It's almost gross how much he showed off. Part of me wishes I could invade peoples minds like he did, but part of me says "It wouldn't be fun if you had all the answers to the crossword puzzle, right?". The journey is more important than the destination, right? Hehehe.

Anyways, Thuggly better watch out what he drinks. I have this nasty tendency of mixing chemicals into... well, EVERYTHING. I might just figure out a way to tame the lion. Sedatives can do wonderful things, you know!

Forever nicknamed Thuggly. <3

My mood was totally ruined when I heard about everything that happened at the mansion... Definitely brought my earlier energy down. But among the wreckage, there is still good news! Hehehe little ol' Lullaby got left behind, to my surprise. Caught her and brought her home with me like a stray cat!

I've got lots of games to play with her, lots of fun to be had! In fact, I've got some new creations I might try on her and my other guest... Hehehe oh Doctor P, you really shouldn't have scorned me so when I visited you. I have this thing about getting revenge. Did you really think you could hide from me by leaving? Didn't get far, did you. Hehehe.

So exciting.

I was feeling so scattered earlier... I hate it when that happens.

NOW I'M FEELING GOOOOOOOOOOD. Time to get started. Oh Lullaby, here I come! Hehe let me take you to my basement so you can see all the kitties I promised you...

Shady, if only you were here too. I miss you a lot. If only... Hehehe if only there was SOME WAY I could get you to come over for a visit <3 Hehehehe. I WONDER HOW I COULD GET YOU TO VISIT?

Bye for now. I've got to go entertain my guests.

Is there a Doctor in the house?

Apparently so.

Hallelujah, Doctor, you're a wily little guy aren't you. All I wanted was to ask a couple of questions, you didn't to  freak out like that... Hehehe thank buddy. I needed a thrill, you sure know how to give a guy one. I would've never expected you to have hidden that gun there... I hope you remembered to put the safety on when you put it back.

Actually, I'm a liar. I hope you forget to put the safety on. You cracked my mask with your thick skull when you headbutted me. I think some payback is necessary.

ANYHOW, I bet all of you, my adoring fans, are wondering what I'm talking about. Well, last night I decided to pay a certain Doctor who calls himself Proctor a visit. At his house. Smart right? Honestly, I don't know what possessed me to go there. Maybe I'm just lonely? The Executor has been busy lately, and I've had no official work to play with for so long. I've decided to return to my previous projects.

Shady, do you smell like mints? I had a dream last night and you were in it. You smelled like mints. I couldn't help but notice the powerful scent when I stuck my needles into your spine, filling your body with foreign chemicals and delicious toxins. The way you quaked and sputtered was so beautiful. If only dreams came true.

You're with that witch now, aren't you? Wasting your time with things to take your mind off of me. Even now,  you're thinking about me aren't you? Don't fight love, honey. Don't fight it. Or else it might kidnap you and take you to the basement for an extended vacation <3

Back to my story.

I hardly expected you to fight back, Doc. Last time I showed up at your house in pursuit of my favorite girly, you were down and out of that fight in seconds. A swift club to the head... I can't exactly remember what else I did to you.... Did I do anything else? Quick, check your wrists for scars.

This time around you actually held your own. Good boy, you're finally growing up. Sorry about breaking that mirror in your room, I didn't intend to trip over those boxes. Why the heck is that house so stuffy with cardboard? You moving? Hehehehe, duh of course you're moving. I read your blog <3 ALL THE TIME.

Getting closer to Shady, huh? HEY BUB, watch yourself. She's mine. No hanky panky or I'll screw with your anatomy. Knives can do that, you know.

Remember, alcohol heals all things. That gash in your forehead is no exception. No hard feelings?

But seriously, bringing a gun into the fight was totally unnecessary. What do you think the neighbors would think when they heard those gunshots?

Bet you've got a lot of thoughts flopping around, eh? ME TOO. One of those questions is WHY IS MY COMPUTER SO SLOW? Blogging is such a pain. But I do it for my beloved fans <3 My students. My followers.

But seriously, I bet you're wondering how I got past your security system. You're probably wondering what I could gain from showing up in your room while you were packing. You're probably wondering what my goals were. You're probably just wondering "WHY?". Well, I'm not going to tell you. In a few weeks, you'll see why. Stay tuned, kids.

Shady Shady Shady, you're very far from a lady. But I love that about you. You're so cute when you act like a monster <3

Let's NOT be friends! Come abuse me, my dear. ;) Let's play.

Speaking of playing, I've been tossing around some different chemical compounds... I've got some new things to try out when the time comes.

INNOCENT STREET WALKING CIVILIANS, BEWARE! New Jersey won't know what hit it.

I'm going to church, be back later to poke around!

~tA

BUSYBUSYBUSY.

Hahahahaha oh golly guys, what's up.

Been so long. So long. Hibernation is wonderful for bears but I hate it. WHERE has the time gone????

WHERE have I gone? Hehehehehahahaha why am I so giddy? Bahaha maybe it's excitement. Excitement for what you ask? I DON'T KNOW. Hehehehehe. It think I might have lost it baby. Finally lost it. OR maybe I never had it to begin with? HAHAHAHAHA. Anyways, I think I'm the mood to play. After all this idleness, I think it's about time I got to stretch my legs... hehehe or someone else's.

Teehee, I feel like I should go kill a kitten. That's how happy I am. I'm PUMPED. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

Executor, have you been slipping something in my drinks? Teehee, nope nope nope. No way that could be happening, cause you're all busy and crap with crap BAHAHAHAHA. Isn't that funny? Maybe not. Maybe you'll find this funnier.

I forgot my punchline. Hehehehe.

Golly, is this what happens when I get all sfdklsdkhlfsadklhf in the brain???? Hehehehe. I like it. Maybe it should happen more often.

The only downside: The lack of memory. But I can deal. YA DIG. Hehehe that's how I roll.

It's a brand new day, and I'm feel alright! I could sing. I could write goofy poems. I could get drunk off blood. <3

I can only imagine.

ANYHOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY POINT WAS. Bahahahahahaha! I'M HYSTERICAL.

Been so busy, I know that. So very busy. But what have I been up to? The big man playing around with me? Teehee, it's just a conspiracy theory. Hurr durr, TheAdvocate is back baby. Why did I ever leave?

Last thing I remember was.... ooh, well I'm not gonna post that on the internet. That would be embarrassing. BUT THAT WAS SO LONG AGO.

You should all see the expression on my face. OH GEEZ. It's glorious.

Alright, well I'm posting this just to say HELLO. AND I'M BACK.

And to be frank...

I'm more magnificently twisted than ever.

It's been TOO LONG.

~tA

Gods. Gods. Gods.

Stupid gods. How can a god be a god if that god can be overthrown? 

I hate religion. Except for the Catholics. The Crusades was the best thing done for mankind ever. Someday, I'd like to lead a crusade. It would be for a different goal, though. Who cares about any kind of god? Formaldehyde, and all the other wonderful chemicals in the world are my gods. Have you ever been fed formaldehyde? Probably not, considering you are well enough to read this blog.

Speaking of Crusades, I think my followers should spread my blog around. The good old gospel needs to be shared, or else everyone will become as pathetic and useless as you (possibly) are.

Wanna know what I did while I was away? I drove around dragging children behind my car, mangling the flesh on their body. Then, I used it to make a quilt. Then, I sent it to you. Just kidding, why would I send anything to you? I sent it to my dearest cousin, the one that doesn't know I exist yet. Or at least, not my alias. She knows the other me. The one that everyone loves and adores, the one without the mask.

Everyone has another self, we can't be seen walking around in character or else somebody who could recognize us would start making trouble for us on a daily basis. Having stalked many of the Jersey dwellers, I know for a fact that if they saw me in Wal-Mart buying toothpaste, it would cause lots of trouble for me. 

Besides, it would ruin my image. And by image, I mean the fact that I never lie. 

Guess what. I don't buy toothpaste.

High-fives to anyone who gets my comedy genius, if you don't well.. you can be fixed.

Shady Shady Shady

La La La La La

I miss you greatly. 

Like a train misses the innocent women that are tied to it's railroad tracks.

So, I have a homework assignment for all of you. Besides spreading my educational... curriculum... around, try to do some nasty deeds to your neighbors. Like I always say, sharing is caring, especially if you're sharing pain and/or a disease of some sort. 

If you haven't noticed, I'm in a very good mood today. 

The REAL homework assignment though, is to locate someone for me. I need a location. 

Could you find me the girl known as Shady Lady and her little buddy, Mystery? I'd greatly appreciate it.

Doctor Doctor! We've got an emergency!

That's right, Mr. Proctor, I've entered the hospital and I'm here for an extended duration.

Hehehe what  the heck has got me so silly, you ask? 

You'll just have to wait and see. I love suspense, don't you?

Speaking of theater, I once lit one on fire. Lots of burns involved, both for myself and for my victims. I was a bit sloppy, in my youth. The cops almost caught me, but I was able to kill all the witnesses and eliminate the evidence against me. Now, I'm sitting pretty still. I don't recall ever being caught... 

Really, what I do takes passion. It's a calling, actually. Not to mention the fringe benefits of having a boss like mine... 

Do you know my boss? You probably do if you're reading this blog.

If not, you will someday.

Defenders Against Slenders is a dorky name for a group, honey. You should change it to "OH CRAP, THEADVOCATE IS GONNA FREAKING KILL US ALL". 

Sounds a lot better, I think. When you charge your enemy, it'll be fun to scream. Hehehe.

Anyhow, why am I wasting my moment of joy with all you? I've got things to do now that I'm home. Back in Jersey.

Love the smell of blood on concrete, and let's not forget brain matter on the side.

Bye Bye Bye,

~tA

Tickle you soon, buddies.