They Came, They Went, They Came Again

Tick tock.

Like clockwork.  

Round and round, back to the start. Full circle. Ha. Ha. Ha. 

Remember me.

I kept an alarm under my pillow to wake me up each morning for the past five years. I know, they told me, the others repeatedly told me, told me, told me, told me, don't do it, but I couldn't sleep alone. I forget who I was on those nights. Every damn night I went to sleep waiting for that fucking alarm clock to ring-a-ding-ding against the side of my head, and every morning it did.

Then one morning, I woke up, and everything was quiet for once. Everything was red.

Red, satin, frothy, cool, and milky. Everywhere, on my hands, on my face, in my mouth, running down my chest, red everywhere. 

Red, satin, frothy, cool, and milky. 

There's something profound to waking up in a bathtub filled with your own blood, even if its not from your body. A precious sense of understanding that comes with seeing your reflection, in your own warm juices. It clears conflict... offers firm resolution... the heavy scent of iron, easing your aching mind. Five years, all of it a compacted into a fast descent down a steep hill in a corvette with no brakes, like blood stained pages hastily jotted down by someone who would forget it all the next day.

What did you think, kids? I died, like the rest of you pricks who couldn't manage to dodge a few bullets? That I just rolled over, made my bed and decided to disappear. No. No, no, no. If we are going to end a show, we are going to end it with fireworks and severed limbs. I'll be the one to tell you when I'm dead. 

Now, we start again. Like clockwork.

I can't remember where we left off. Running together, round, and round, and round, and round. I know the pages came from different books but I went and mixed them all together, and now the itch is back. Dying, strangling myself, strangling my cat, strangling my love. Itching, itching, itching to feel the rush she gave me, the rush she gave me, the rush it gave me to watch that bastard's eyes roll back into his head as he realized I had switched his insulin bottle for heroin. Was that me? Heheheh. Fuck, it gives me headaches to think about. 

Reminds me of Jennifer. She was the first one to help scratch the itch. She always had splitting headaches. Jennifer was a doll, but death doesn't favor the beautiful, and damn did her head pop right open like a watermelon when I face-fucked her with that cement block. Talk about feeling pressure around the sinuses. 

That unbearable need to start again didn't stop there. I remember I was on my way to the office, wearing my favorite tie, taking a peak at myself in the reflection of a window on the street when David bumped into me. Nice kid, very apologetic. Ruined my tie, really fucked up the stitching throwing his body around like an alligator doing death rolls while I strangled him in an alley not far from where we met. A shame, again, I can't begin to emphasize about how much I really like that tie. That was back in Chicago, of all places, back before I packed up my bags and started traveling again.

That's when things really started again. Nothing like life on the road. Really, there is no easier find then hitch hiker, its like driving up to a Mcdonalds and order a burger, and its even that much easier to walk away from. Heh. Things were just like they were five years ago, except even better, now that the big man hasn't been breathing down my neck for results. 

Back to chasing after kids scared of the dark, givin' them a reason to be scared. That's growing up. Realizing monsters are real, and that they are freaking artists. I remember once upon a time, you two would have killed me over this shit, but suddenly, everyone wants to be like me. Blood bath after blood bath, after blood bath, and now you're the one inviting me to the party. Hehe. 

With all this demand for blood, I have to admit, its a good time to be on the market again. Good old Jack-O, I'll paint your roses red. 

Knock Knock.

Who is there.

It me. Hehehehe.

Whats it been, 5 years almost? Without a buzz. Without a ring. Without a single... fucking... text. Not even a, "How's it been, you dirty no good gutter whore," and then... bzzzt. Bzzzt. Like clockwork.

Got a text.

From myself.

It said, "We are in this bitch,"

And I said, well damn, ain't that pretty.

Knock knock, fuckers, I came to party.

I heard you were hosting, Dia. That's still your name right?

Something Bad This Way Comes

Hello sweet Jupiter babies,

Did you miss me?

Shadows played tag against the walls of Limeport as I slid between the Asylum’s wounds, infecting the hellish sanctuary with my presence. I could hear them—The voices of the extraordinary—as I crept into the rotten belly of this festering place. They sang in heavenly harmony, strongly contrasting the scent of Hades that filled my nostrils. The walls had been cleaned recently—I could detect the smell of strong bleach in the air. It was merely a coincidence that they had cleaned house, but I delighted in the idea of the janitor making the place up in preparation for my visit.

                As I began to slink through the halls, I remembered how desperately this building needed to be painted. Where I stood, the walls of the hallway were burnished white. Rather drab, I’m sure you’ll agree. Yet, as I approached my destination, I recalled once again how poorly secured thus Asylum was. I stood— completely exposed— with my face towards the main office of the building, as two security officers casually meandered by. With a flick of my wrist, a compact syringe promptly appeared in my hand. Moments later, two dead bodies appeared on the floor.

                I smirked at the pair, tickling one of the man’s veins with my syringe. Squishy. Hehehe. Neither had been alerted to my approach, and neither responded quickly enough to stop me from injecting them both with my poisonous chemical weapon.  My fingers twitched as I returned my needled weapon to its hiding place within my sleeve. My leg began to tap against the floor anxiously. I giggled, realizing what was going on. My body was anxious for a challenge—My body had a desire that needed to be filled. What to do, though? Limeport sucked at everything. The security was pitiful and the food was equally as bad. This place needed to be burned down for the sake of the American Dream. Am I right? Hehe.

                I approached the bolted door to the Asylum’s office. “VIVA VIAGRA!” I shouted as I kicked the door in with my foot and tossed my body through the doorway. With a hearty laugh, I snapped the neck of the man sitting at the room’s thin desk and grabbed a silvery little treasure from the wall.

                I passed the object back and forth between my hands. Through the fabric of my gloves, I could trace the metal’s unusual shape. It felt good. It felt cold. It felt like FREEDOM. I dropped the master key of the Asylum into my pocket and casually returned to sauntering down the hall. Another guard was frantically kneeling across the hall, too distracted by the sight of the two dead security officers to notice me approaching him from behind. WHAM! I clubbed him with my fist and shoved his face against the wall, smashing his skull against the hard surface. For good measure, I stomped his ribcage in with my wing-tipped dress shoes. What thou doest, doest with class.

                I listened to the sound of feet padding against the floor, and began to sing loudly. “They’re coming to take me away, haha, they’re coming to take me away…”

                After a few minutes, I finally got some peace and quiet. No blaring alarms or approaching guards; It was just me and the blood covered decor. I slid the key that I had obtained earlier into a lock and turned it. Click. I moaned with pleasure. Felt good. I gently stepped through the door and smiled at the sexy beast that rested within.

                “Hello Shady,”

                I snapped the neck of a guard and shoved his lifeless shape aside. Another security officer charged me from my right sight, but the sharp edge of my butcher’s knife quickly ended his assault. The man’s legs could no longer support him, so I grabbed him by the shirt collar and repeatedly stabbed my knife through his eye sockets. “Who you lookin’ at?” I cackled mockingly as I kicked his chest. Too bad he was dead, or I think he would have laughed too.

                I tossed my knife across the room with a victorious laugh and rested my hands against my diaphragm. Shady was there, snapping someone’s neck across from me. I couldn’t help but find her adorable, especially in this state… A corpse dropped near her feet, and I stepped over the lifeless body to reach her. My hands slid around her hips and I pulled her against me, kissing her forehead from beneath the slightly raised edge of my mask.

                “You’re quite hot right now.” I winked, but the moment was cut short by a guard that thought he was some kind of a ninja. I pulled a tomahawk from my satchel and stuck the man in the shoulder with the weapon’s cutting edge. Then, I ripped it out and tore the man’s chest open with blow after blow. I heard shouts coming from across the complex.

                “Time to go. Time to fight. Time to be free.” I grabbed Shady by the hand and charged into the heat of battle. Limeport Asylum had no clue what had hit it.

                Music played within my mind as red fluid was tossed into the air, splattering against my mask. There was blood everywhere. There was so much blood. It was incredible. I couldn’t get enough of the carnage—I could hardly contain my excitement. It was a perfect date. Sweat, blood, and tears littered the floor as my lover and I cut our way through the Asylum. Nothing could stop us. No man, nor woman, nor God could halt our triumphant charge. Security officers and men in white coats tumbled to the left and the right of us as we chopped and hacked and cut and slashed and bludgeoned and shot and stabbed and kissed and achieved victory. Hehehehe just thinking about it… It makes me dreamy.

                I clubbed a doctor in the face with the handle of my pistol and then proceeded to rip his throat out with a blunt pair of scissors. He wiggled, squirmed and whimpered as I did so… I wouldn’t let him die until I was finished. I glanced over my shoulder and smiled at Shady as she hand curled around the throat of a woman who had grabbed her. “Do it.” I whispered, barely audible. “Hehehe do it.”

                Both women tumbled to the floor as Shady and the stranger lost their footing, but moments later I could hear death ringing through the atmosphere. Good girl. I’m so proud of my little Shady. Then, Shady began shouting.

                “You made me! You made me this way!” I glanced down the hall to where her eyes were directed, but saw nothing. Then, I turned to look behind her and spotted a figure at the end of the hall. Oh, well how nice of him to visit.

                I quickly scrambled to my feet and wrapped my arms around her defensively. He would not have his way. She touched my mask briefly as she began to calm down. I softly stroked her hair with my bloodied hand…

                “Safe and sound.” I whispered, smiling. She seemed too distracted to hear… There was some kind of deep internal struggle occurring behind her eyes. Blood trickled from her lip as she bit herself. I pulled away from her, lifting her to her feet as she began surveying the bodies. Moments later, we were on the move again.

                Silence filled the grave that was once called Limeport Asylum as I unlocked the American Dream and disappeared through the door. My senses basked in the freshness of life… The freedom that now surrounded us.

                I glanced at Shady as I began to walk towards the emptiness of the outside world. A look of determination crossed her face. I grinned and laced my messy fingers through hers. A haunted Limeport began to drift into decay, disappearing in the distance as my lover and I floated like ghosts.

                The night was not over yet.

                The Haven could not have hoped to resist our combined skill.

               

                I cleaned my knife idly, watching as Shady beat the man called Brood to a sniveling pulp. Johnson, or whatever his name was, was pinned to the ground by the hulking creature called Sunshine. Dozens of bodies littered the halls and corridors of the mansion. Several mutilated shapes decorate the lawn. I glowed with a sense of accomplishment—My eyes were practically shining –as Shady finished what we had started. The game was finished, finally. It felt good. It felt warm. I smiled happily, content.

“They wouldn’t stop coming. The wards broke; we lost a lot of manpower. I was wrong. I thought I knew what I was doing but I had no idea, because of it a lot of people died.” I listened silently, watching from across the room, as Brood spoke. The fight had not lasted too long, but the man sounded entirely defeated. Shady dropped him from her iron grip and climbed to her feet, crossing me as she descended the stairs. Sunshine pushed past me, following. Tension filled the air as I glanced at Julius and Brood.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. “Well, nice to meet both of you.” I said as I exited the room. I could feel their eyes on my back as I departed. I wonder if Jasper still has a grudge against me. Or if I should return the gun I stole from him… Hehehe naaaaaah.

Moments later, Brood was standing on the stairs with us. Shady, Sunshine, Brood and myself… All just… well, ya’ know. Standing there.

Its rather odd, isn’t it? I never would have imagined myself standing in the same room as Brood or Jonathon without us trying to kill each other. Ooooh, man. Thuggee is going to have SUCH a tantrum when he finds out where I’ve been staying since I broke Shady out of Limeport…

Eh. He’ll deal with it. Hehehe.

I actually sort of like it here. It’s nice. Shady plans on leaving again, though… I suppose I’ll be departing then as well. She’s the only reason I’m sticking around.

I’ve been trying to toss all my chickens into a bush since reclaiming the Haven. Jackson doesn’t seem too happy that I’m here hehe but maybe we can have some male bonding time to help bring us together. I’m sure he’d love that. My assistant has been calling my cell phone like crazy since I left her alone at the Hideout… Needy woman! Ha.

Managing my projects has grown increasingly difficult since I started living at the Haven. Brood is very strict about what chemicals are allowed into the mansion and what people are allowed to do with said chemicals…

Maybe I’ll take a field trip with Shady, show her some of my finer estates. She needs a little TLC.

Anyhow, I’m finally getting around to posting this. Hehehe I apologize for the long break period. I’ve been distracted. If ya’ know what a mean ;D

~tA

I Misplaced All Of My Umbrellas

Hehe rain, rain go away, come again another day... oh wait, are you even here to stay? Did you fly in from a distant country to visit me, or are you just  visiting from out of state? Darn, I wish I knew. Hehehe where is all the precipitation? Is it in my heart? I love me some rain. It cleans everything away...

Spilled blood, footprints... I wonder...

Does it take all the bodies away, as well? I've never considered it. Where do they go once they've started to glow? Hehehe fly, they fly away like little baby spiders on silky parachutes. Fly! That's what we'll do.

We'll fly away, and we'll own this town, and the rain will pour when we want it to. The baby spiders will dance to our tune.

Hehehehe look at all these wonderful colors we've discovered, I didn't know blood could do that... Ha! Squirt squirt squirt, what a mess!

You know what? I bet I've got a buddy watching out for me. A guardian angel! I mean, who else cleans up after me when I have to run?

Hehe maybe someday I'll find out who takes all of the messes away, who takes the weights away...

I wonder where the bodies go after I'm done with them?

~tA

Love Is The Surest Sign Of Insanity

Off a highway, down a driveway... Limeport Asylum, ladies and gents! Just another building to bust into... Locked away and concealed, blocked off to the average Joe who might possibly stumble across it...

Hehe I swear, they practically invited me in.

Hey Josh, are you upset that I didn't keep away from the happy house?

Well, how should I put this...?

 I DO WHAT I WANT, JOSHUA.

If that upsets you, kiddo... Hehe you can go march around Jericho or something. ;)

In all seriousness though, I do believe that it is, in fact, story time. So grab your reading glasses and your radiation suit so that we can get this post kicked off!

Marked by moonlight, I nonchalantly approached the front entrance of the asylum. The atmosphere of a glowing midnight was deceptively calm. Before arriving, I had considered how I would make my entrance and I decided that the building's security would mostly respond irrationally (Hehe or completely rationally) to an anonymous masked figure appearing from the darkness during the graveyard shift... So, logically, I wore the charming little thing with pride! Satchel at my hip, I ventured into the shadows cast by the Asylum. I like satchels. They're handy! Hehehe.

Getting into the asylum itself was a little messier than I had anticipated, considering the fact that I sort of missed Visiting Hours, but hark, I got in eventually! I had to force a few locks open, dodge some cameras, work some chemical magic, crack a few skulls, and locate an item of interest before I could confidently strut the halls of Limeport. It was mildly challenging, but the hired meat working security presented little opposition  and my miracle recipes helped me to keep things covert and clean. Vanishing Act, Green-Light, Devil's Windex, and a few other special compounds of my own design kept things fresh as a DAISY! Hehehe.

Under other circumstances, I probably would have brought a jar of Party Potion with me to test out, but that recipe is certainly not a tool of subtlety.

Blah blah blah, what was I saying?

I was on my way to Shady's cell when I stumbled across a lone orderly pushing a cart down a dimly lit hallway and decided that now would be a GREAT time to practice my silent takedown. ;)

Pressing myself against the corner of a wall, I waited silently for the man to push the cart closer. He paused a few times as he approached the end of the corridor, and I impatiently wondered what was taking him so long.

Finally, I heard his cart rounding the corner and I pounced him. Meow, or something? Haha! I doubt the poor stack new what hit him! After slitting his throat once or twice, I contemplated throwing him on the cart and rolling him away with me. Maybe he would enjoy meeting Shady?

Hehe it just seemed fair that he would get to meet the woman who was partially to blame for his sudden death. Buuuuuuut, on second thought, three is a crowd and I wasn't really in the mood to share my fair Lady's attention...

Hey, not to mention that it would be kind of awkward introducing her to someone whose name I didn't even know. Decidedly, one-on-one time with my girl was the preferable option.

So, I shoved him in a nearby closet and stripped him of his uniform. You can never wear too many disguises in one night, boys and girls!

Dragging the cart along with me, I headed down the hall and began to hum idly. After about twenty minutes of navigating hallways, I arrived at my destination and pushed the cart through the door.

I'll be honest, I was surprised to find that Shady was awake and alert. She was secured to her bed, and her eyes were fixated on... a crack. Haha, what a fighter.

Her eyes never left the crack, despite the fact that I was wearing my trademark mask. She had noticed my entrance for sure, and she was definitely watching me from the corner of her eye, but she refused to look at me directly. The night was off to a glorious start!

I took a few moments to shuffle through some of the items that I had brought in with the cart, setting my personal satchel on the top of the miscellaneous articles. The room was surprisingly quiet, until I opened my satchel and spoke up.

"Darling, the crack's not gonna lose the staring contest. Trust me." I winked, amused. I shoved the cart against the wall, and bent at the waist in a slight bow. "Miss me?"

Shady looked me with a clearly bruised face, quiet for the moment. She attempted to lift her hand and wave, but was halted by the single restraint. "Hi." She said instead. "Come here often?"

"Not really," I responded as I began removing the orderly's uniform, "but, I think I might start visiting more. I like it." I tossed the uniform top on the cart and absentmindedly continued speaking, "Its VERY trendy. So what have you been up to lately? Doing much?" I nodded at the crack.

She lifted her free hand and pointed at her bruises before motioning to the room. "Scaring psychiatrists away, being abused by orderlies and nurses from the previous building. Waiting mainly." She shrugged lazily. "What about you, sweetie?"

What a snerk. Hehe. "Lots," I approached her bedside, "Hehe I've been partying all summer, ya know! It seems like there are never any challenges left in this little world of ours," Though, I contemplated, busting into insane asylums and prisons could be a fun new hobby, "it is amazing what somebody can do with enough funding,"

I examined her sheets before continuing, and smirked at the crack she had been fixated upon, "I'm planning Fright Night 2012. Hehe I've got lots of new tricks planned for all of my guests..."

I tilted my head, watching my vulnerable love interest.

"But no spoilers," I whispered, "You'll have to wait and see for yourself, like everybody else who is coming! Hey, don't ya read my blog anymore, Dove?" I giggled, imagining Shady with a beak... Hehe or even better, a bird with Shady's face! HA!

She twitched, and hissed, "Don't call me that," before calming instantly, as if a switch was simply flipped. "Exciting. But do you honestly think they allow me near any machines here? Oh no, no, no. They keep me locked up good and tight because they remember what happens when they don't." She smiled a moment at the crack, and I wondered what words of wisdom it was offering. Her attention was back to me, "How's your master, pet? Still riding your ass?"

I huffed, and then released a loud guttural laugh. "Ooooh, feisty. I guess being chained down gets you feeling extra spicy? Hohoho," I reached out with my foot, hooking the cart with it, and pulled it closer to the bed. I snatched my satchel from it.

"OH NO, not at all! After Doc visited, Thuggee and I had a very solid chat about our previous contract. Too many formalities and details to discuss, you wouldn't find it interesting. Long story short," I shuffled through my bag, grabbing a vial of the Venus Serum, "He gave me full control over this host body! Step one to world domination, complete!"

I nonchalantly removed my mask, and smiled. I held the sum of my identity, TheAdvocate, in my hand. "Familiar face, babe?" I winked. Hehe.

Her brow lifted. I bet the sudden reveal caught her off guard, despite her already knowing the truth about my identity. "So he's not inside you anymore?" She asked, and I could tell she was trying not to smirk at her wording. She's such an adorable little pervert.

Shady glanced at the vial in my hand, frowning before returning her gaze to my face. "Very familiar, clever boy. Is Proctor alright?" She asked, idly fiddling with her cuffed wrist. Psh, after all that I did to visit her, she can't get her mind off of Black.

A little peeved by her distracted nature, I passed the vial back and forth from hand to hand. "Oh yes, he's just dandy. In fact, he and I came to a bit of an agreement as well!" I lifted the vial to eye level and scrutinized the mixture. "Black, by the way," I was momentarily caught up in admiring my long-prepared potion.

I refocused on the Lady and leaned into her "personal space" (Hehe what is proximity, eh?), and smiled. Hehe the other guy sure knows how to take care of his teeth, I'll admit that... I've got some fiiiiiiiine pearly whites! Thanks, Black... Or Thuggly... Whichever did the most flossing...

"Hey, how would you feel if I put something inside you," I giggled, adding a wink to further the joke.

Shady responded by frowning at the vial in my hand, watching me as I moved it around. "Whatever is in that you better keep away from me." She warned, tempting me. She straightened herself, and became defense. "By stupid body doesn't need anymore abuse. Especially your concoctions!" The girl hissed, prying at the strap. Not very Lady like at all!

"So put that way, and we'll have a nice chat instead, hon." Oooh, so tempting...

Another day, another dosing. I pouted comically, "Aw boo boo, this little mix ain't gonna do you no harm! I was just thinking we might need something to, you know, lighten the mood." I started humming a song that I... I think it was romantic? I'm not sure. No, maybe not romantic...

Oh well, carpe diem. You only live once. Or something like that. Hehe. I took a seat by Shady's legs.

"Why are you so angsty, beautiful?" I smirked, and began massaging her feet. "Tell me EVERYTHING... Hehe..."

Shady eyed me suspiciously, like some kind of purple-ish crocodile, "This is weird." She bluntly stated, sounding quite childish but she didn't seem to care. "You know how messed up it is, walking in here and getting your face all naked like that for the first time. While I'm in here for being mentally unstable." She wagged her finger in my direction, disapprovingly, "Not cool, honey. My crazy has a thing for your crazy, and right now I'm full of crazy. You're just using it to your advantage here." She chuckled.

I felt charm bark at my doghouse and the doorbell rang. Ding dong, the witch is dead.

I rolled off the bed and onto the floor, smiling like a devil. My inner estranged hamster rolled me across the floor the length of the bed, and I popped up onto my knees near her face.

"Hehe, whatever you just said... I like it." I leaned into her and kissed her. C4 detonated in the back of my mind, and all of the little children started running in terror as a building collapsed. It was like a waltz, really.

I smiled coyly without removing my lips from hers, and she seemed to hesitate for a moment. Then, she returned my kiss briefly and pulled away. My mind flashed back to last year's fright night. Full circle.

"You know how messed up it is when a lunatic -- You -- visits and its more normal than when my brother does?" She grinned, obviously having enjoying my flavor, she leaned against my forehead for a moment. "Fucked up how you're the only normal thing. Familiar. Welcomed." She straightened up again as another switch seemed to flip in her brain. "But seriously, why are you here?"

I laughed, amused. I could imagine an eco-friendly light bulb appearing above her head. I could feel my eyes turn warm as a my words slipped out in a mischievous tone. "I was missing you, darling. Its been faaaaaar too long."

You know, I had been sneaking around all day, so I felt like I had the right to have a little bit of fun with theatrics...

I shot to my feet, and put on my best mock New York accent. "So I says to myself, ya know what I says? I should visit that dame before my heart explodes," I clutched my chest dramatically.

"I just couldn't help myself," I added in a harmonic voice, practically singing to her, "I'm tired of all these barriers being between us!" I tapped the wall, winking.

"So I thought to myself," I stood up and grabbed my satchel from the cart, "Why don't we do a little tango out of here, ya?" I removed a key out of the bag and gave her my most innocent smile. The item of interest that I had struggled to locate. The master key to the Lemonport Asylum. Shady hadn't bothered to conceal her amusement as I switched up my act, and performed various roles. Her chin was resting in her palm, and she was propped on her leg as she watched. She was curious, and as soon as the key appeared her eyes latched to it.

"Isn't it fitting that we shared our first real kiss in an asylum?" I contemplated aloud, clutching the key. Then, I paused. I had quite the epiphany...

Hmm... Shady, locked up in an asylum... An asylum that I have the master key to... Hehehe

"Ya know," I mused, contemplated the possibilities. "We could... Ooooh, that might... I see..."

The crack whispered to me an idea, and I giggled in amusement. "Hehehe well, why didn't I think of that in the first place?"

"Do wha--"

I dropped the key in my bag, and pushed the cart to the door. "Forget I said anything." She seemed to have stopped herself, eyeing my bag... I could tell that she was momentarily irritated, the expression flashing clearly across her face. She must not particularly enjoy this abusive place... Weird, I thought she was into pain...

She sighed lightly, watching me move towards the door. "Leaving already, hm?"

I had considered it. I could return at anytime, dressed up as an orderly. I could spend countless hours visiting her, pushing her in the right direction... influencing her... helping her... strengthening her... kissing her... Besides, hehe, she was never one to be able to handle my presence for too long. Most of our longer meetings have ended at gunpoint. ;)

But... her tone made me stop. I leaned on the cart. "We're together finally, alone... Both equally lost and maybe in love..." Pondering, I continued, "Our minds are stumbling around in this wonderfully dark world, free like fish at sea."

I examined her, filled with the strangest thoughts. "I've never wanted something so badly," I eyed her, "and yet I've never wanted to break myself so badly," I groaned, and found that speaking was surprisingly painful and infuriating. Pure insanity, I'd say! Oh, and to think, for so long I was hoping that I hadn't lost my mind... Teehee.

"You're beautiful like this, dang it. You know that, right?" I couldn't help but admire her, scratches and all. "You should get admitted to the looney house more often."

Pausing, I scratched my chin and raised my eyebrow. I rarely feel conflicted, if ever... Stupid dolls and their feminine witchcraft.

"We are quite spectacularly insane, aren't we?" I said decidedly, almost whispering. "Do you want me? For company? For me to stay?" I asked her, tilting my head.

She bowed her head a bit, watching me as I spoke... Her face was turning red. Hehe I wondered for a moment if I had broken her or something. Whoops.

A smile cracked across her face. "All of what you said, I like it." She mimicked me slightly. "Did you know you're also one of the very few consistent things in my life? You never REALLY leave. It's nice." She reached out her free hand to me, "I'd like you to stay, stay this time, though." I was confused for a moment, but then my brain registered what she was saying. Dumb brain, acting slow because of boobs. Huff. Haha!

She clarified what she was saying, "Physically not leave. It would mean a lot."

Gah, this chick... I took her hand and kissed it, smiling. Impossible nutcase. "As you wish," I kicked the cart aside, idly, and it bumped against the wall near the door. "You sweet talker you."

I took a seat on the bed and situated myself next to her, "I just can't resist a good snuggle, can I?" I sighed, taking a firm grip on her hand and running a few fingers through her hair.

"We should do this more often. Haha, snuggle times with TheAdvocate and Shady. We could have our own romantic comedy, ya? Everybody would love it. We'd end up with our own brand of cereal and popcorn. Maybe action figures too, ya know? I hope they don't overemphasize my butt. You'd make a hot action figure," I snickered, poking Shady's forehead.

"Your butt is pretty big," She joked, lacing her fingers in mine. "But I think our version of a romantic comedy would scare the piss out of the world. Hehe, it would be delightful." She leaned into my chest with an amused grin, hugging my waist. "Like this, very delightful. Snuggle time is nice. With you, that is. Let's make this a continuous thing." She paused, a new thought coming to mind.

"I like this." She said, as if it was a fact.

Somewhere in the world, a church just burned down.

She stroked my cheek, "It's as captivating as your personality."

I couldn't help but silently admire her. I chuckled as she spoke, "A step in the right direction, wouldn't you agree? I'm thinking this is a fresh start! Think of it... Out with the old, in with the new. Ha! The possibilities!"

My inflection turned into that of a mob boss', "We're going places, little lady! You and me, callin' the shots! Thuggee's got power, but he don't got the brain to hold onto it forever."

My accent slipped into something of a cockney resemblance. "As for all the oth'r pups in the 'ouse, i's justa matt'r o' linin' 'em up for leashes. Hehe an' settin' 'em all out on each oth'r!" I wrapped my hands around her waist victoriously, holding her for a moment. "But look at me, babbling on and on about whatnot." I pulled her head towards mine and kissed her forehead.

"Is there anything -- Or anyone -- that you would like me to deal with when I get back outside?" A sinister smile crawled across my face, and I could feel a sense of wicked accomplishment glowing behind my eyelids as I settled in for the night.

Shady listened to me as I spoke, and when I asked her what favors she needed me to do for her when after I left, she glanced at me and I knew at that moment...

We're going to change the world. Hehehe.

~tA

The Help

Next time I meet with a client, I should do it in a giant shark-filled aquarium tank. Why? Because during this little meeting I was freaking starving. Without further introduction, Advo-Care Incorporated is proud to present the epic Tale of the Almighty Advocate and His Delightfully Devilish Companions:

TODAY'S EPISODE?

A "Nameless" Character!

The girl who went by the alias of Nameless had been waiting for my arrival for some time now. I had shipped her a "package", and she had soon settled into one of my many hideouts nestled throughout the United States. I approached her in the morning, arriving silently and slipping into the house without alerting her. She was in the kitchen, most likely getting something for breakfast. Hehe I decided to see if she would jump at the sound of my voice, so I spoke up.

"Gooooooood morning, my dear. How'd you sleep? Hehehe..." She seemed surprised, but she showed little emotion. Killjoy. I walked over to the old, grungy coffee machine and pressed some buttons.

"I don't get much sleep, but considering the past few nights, fairly well." She replied, and then went silent. Sigh, this girl was all business and no fun! Finally, she spoke up again, "So, you're here finally. Do you want to have a tea party or discuss things?"

I snickered, chewing my thoughts for a moment. Someone needed to lighten up and it wasn't me. Hehe.

I threw a coffee mug that was sitting in the sink at a wall nonchalantly and it smashed on impact. "Tea? Hmmm, well tea sounds nice but perhaps something stronger... I've never been much of a coffee person. How about you?" I grabbed another coffee mug, but this time I grabbed it from the cabinet. I threw it aside when I realized how filthy it was, and it smashed inside the sink. Hehe when was the last time I did the dishes in this place?

I started humming a tune, contemplating whether or not I remembered to take the bomb from last month's project out of the dishwasher. "How are you feeling? Still dealing with symptoms?" I chuckled, referring to the Water of Life mixture. "I've been OH SO BUSY with patients lately. Boss boy has been extra bossy lately. I guess he's still..." I paused, grinning behind my mask, "angsty about certain things." I giggled knowingly and turn my attention to her as she replied.

"Yeah, the dizziness has gotten worse. Same with the aches and nausea. I've gotten sick a couple of times and the nightmares have increased, but maybe that's just me." She looked down at her hands as she was talking, and I noticed that they were unusually red. They seemed to have open gashes in them. Curious and curiouser!

She approached the kitchen table and slid her hands beneath it. Her eyes lifted to mine, and I detected a vague sense of hatred. "So what exactly is this stuff I'm taking supposed to do to me? And what does it have to do with my job?"

I approached the table idly chatting. "Oh, its just mutating your genetic code, really. Not a big deal, to be honest." A snicker slipped out of my mouth before I continued. "By the time you're finished with the three vials I sent you, your physical transformation should be complete. You'll be a regular old TOP OF THE LINE freak! It's gonna be great!" I got excited and slammed the table. Whoops. Hehehe. "Your muscles will tone and maintain themselves, which means that you'll be in perfect shape until the day someone puts a bullet in your head, your five natural senses will be heightened drastically, your agility and reflexes will become superhuman and... Well, in short, imagine yourself as the perfect human being. Maybe not sane, but physically perfect. Hehe. There... there are a few..."

I paused, tapping my fingers, "...a few minor flaws in the formula. Hehehe... but I'll guess we'll... um..." I charged the counter, and slid a drawer open. "We'll have to see what happens." I sifted through the utensils. "Won't we? Hopefully you won't die! Haha!"

Nameless narrowed her eyes, smirking. Perhaps she felt entertained? Hehe good. Her smirk increased when I began to explain to her that the formula would basically transform her into a superhuman. I returned to the table, leaving the drawer open, and took a seat across from her. "As for your job, well, I have a few people I need eliminated and I have one specific person that I need you to keep an eye on. Maybe a few other things, as well. Are you here alone? I know you were travelling with a few... friends..." I winked.

Her expression hardened. "Right. I still have Keith with me, as well as my sister, Lily. Right now... well, before Eden died, that incident with the shooting... You already know about that, don't you? Keith's been looking after her." She couldn't make eye contact with me, so she turned away. Guilty conscious, perhaps?

"As for Keith, he's out getting groceries right now."

I couldn't help but find that comment humorous. I sniffed, "Groceries? Hehe, he's your slave boy, then? Your errand runner? Haha, cute. Well, I'll be closely surveilling you and your amigos in the future, with the help of my... Secretary. Hehe so please, don't be afraid to smile at the camera and ask for assistance if you forget which wire to-- ah look,"

I caught a fly that was passing, momentarily examining my captive, "is this a friend of yours too? Hehe."

My muscles twitched while my mind refocused -- resetting -- and I started speaking again, excitedly.

"Hey, I've got a lot of business to take care of, I've been juggling a ton of crap since Doctor Proctor-- oh, I mean Black, hehe -- since Black spilled the big secret..."

I paused. Advocate paused. White paused. We paused. Time paused. Something unlocked inside my head. Hehehe, call it an epiphany.

I could feel my eyes becoming darkening. "Black... Ironic isn't it? He's the one who calls himself Black. But it's my blood I swear. It's all mine! Especially after he gave me his body, I don't -- I won't share! I'm no puppet. So I'll be White, and I'll be the one who plays his cards right." My legs jolted and I stood up abruptly. Involuntarily...

"I plan on visiting Shady very soon. I may leave for the asylum as soon as tonight. My secretary's name is Raquiela... I mean Rachel... I think...? Anyways," I pulled a knife out of my trusty satchel and carved a phone number into it, labeling it "Call me for a good time".

 "Give her a ring-a-ding if you need something. My boss takes care of expenses and funding, so if you need a gun or a computer or a bar of chocolate to soothe your raging female hormones..." I took a moment to chuckle at my humorous comment, "go ahead and ask. Is there any questions you'd like to ask me before I leave, girly?" Absent of mind, I toyed with the knife and leaned against the table.

She was glaring at me. I was a bit surprised when she stood up and headed for the door without answering me. "He's home," I heard her say. Hehe little nutcase, she's adorable :3

She pulled the door open and smiled brightly, and I heard her talking to someone. I saw her standing at the door... it took me a moment to comprehend what was going on and who was at the door. Hehe fascinating...

"Did you get everything on the list?" She asked. Nameless walked over to the cabinets, and gave her... companion... a look that said, 'We'll talk later.'

I watched my new "partner in crime" for a few minutes, studying her. Finally, she turned to me and started speaking,

"Shady..." A rather dark expression crossed her face as she continued. "You going to hurt her?" With all her strength, she seemed to manage to lift her eyes up to meet mine, waiting for an answer.

A strange question... I was quiet for a few moments, scrutinizing her. My eyes blinked, and my brain contemplated my response thoughtfully... And then a roaring cackle emitted from my lips.

"Oh maybe just a little, no pain no gain right? Hehe I have a plan to complete her. You see, she has this horrible way of fighting her fate and well... Hehe I'm just going to guide her on her path with a little prodding. She's mine, if you didn't notice." I walked over to the counter and began tapping my fingers against it. "I doubt you'd have a problem even I did intend to hurt her. You don't seem like someone who would let themselves get wrapped up in silly.... Emotions."

Her eyes became cold and hardened. She seemed defensive. She seemed to be in a state of conflict. "Of course not."

I chuckled. "Of course not. So, girl, how do you like to play? Are you a "dissect your victims with a knife" kind of dame or do you gravitate more towards killing with a gun?" I shuffled through my bad and pulled a folder out, setting it on the counter.

"It depends who my victims are," the girl replied bluntly, pulling the gun from her belt and admiring it as she continued. It was a pretty little piece, if you're a fan of shooting things. "For instance...Say my target is a runner. Just some young man who was unfortunate enough to stumble into the Father's path. Didn't really do anything wrong. He was just...unlucky." She raised the gun, pointing the crude thing at my head, her eyes seeming to sparkle as she squinted them at me. Most people would have panicked. "He'd get the bullet." Her finger pulled on the trigger and she smiled very faintly. Then, lowering the gun, she tilted her head and sighed. "Lucky I didn't put any in there." I couldn't help but smile at this little lady's guts.

Nameless set the pistol down on the table and twirled it around with her fingers. "People like that are kind of like me. The odds just weren't in my favor. It's not like I can remember what exactly happened that made me all brainwashed into killing my family and running off with the Siblings, but I know I didn't choose it. I just...happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." Her voice didn't change, but her eyes were darker, showing something like anger, or even sadness. That soon disappeared though, and the girl's face was unreadable again. I wonder if she practices that look in the mirror every morning... "But fuck all that," Immaturely, I cracked a grin at the choice of words, "I started to realize that the past is the past and it's no good pitying myself and reminiscing about it. It happened and I can't do shit, but there's one way to cope with it."

"Running away and pretending everything is willy-nilly, running off with some other freaks from the internet only screws things up more. I don't regret breaking out of the Cage, but I should've found a way for myself and Ron sooner. But whatever...I was a child then...I've matured now." Nameless narrowed her eyes at the gun before placing it back in her belt and looking up at my face again. What kind of conflict was raging within her young mind? Oh how I'd love to dissect her sick mind. "If I do the Father's bidding, he'll spare me. If I disconnect myself from everyone I know, I won't be weighed down. If I get rid of love and guilt and pain, there's no way to hurt me. So that's what I've done, and I'm ready to stop fucking around and live my life, no matter how shitty it's been up until this point." With that, she stood up and stared straight at the me from across the table, her eyes still conflicting emotions. The rest of her face looked hard and unreadable.

"But enough about my past. Nobody cares about that. Let's get back to business."

I scratched my chin beneath my mask, intrigued. I hadn't flinched when Nameless pulled the trigger of the gun, confident that she had no reason to put a bullet in my head, though, the thought of her shooting at me provoked an interesting thought process. Hehe I wonder... bullet-proof armor is a potentially worthwhile investment. Hoohoo, imagine a bullet-proof mask! Before my mind began to trail too far off, I approached her. "Fascinating. Really." I circled her, approaching her from behind. All predators circle their helpless prey, do they not?

A syringe slid down and out of my jacket sleeve, landing in my tight grip. I giggled. Hehe.

"I wonder if I could cure you of your problems."

My eyes flickered. I could feel it! I could feel the freedom of insanity as it pulsed through my eyelids.

"Perhaps I could free you of your remaining sanity. Do you think you are sane?" I questioned her, softly pressing against her ear, almost whispering.

"Or are you certain that you've gone mad? Hehehe..." I took a step back, leaning against the fridge.

You know what? This girl kinda reminds me of myself when I was younger.

"L-O-L, girl. I like you. I think this relationship is going to be very beneficial to the both of us..." She seemed a little uncomfortable. Silly personal space bubbles! Nameless spun around, and began backing up a as to make space between us. Narrowing her eyes, she lifted herself up and sat on the table. By George, I think she think she's mad!

"I might be mad. Just a little. But I fixed some of it. I can reason now. I'm not a stupid little girl who thinks she can protect people and then just end up being wrong and letting her family die around her, then run off on them and-" There was a long pause as the little villain stared at the ground, the once blank look on her face now completely gone. Oh yes, she's completely mad! It seemed that she had lost control of her emotions, and was struggling to get them back into sorts.

"Excuse me," she continued as she slid back off the tabletop and started picking up the cups that I had thrown earlier, throwing them and the rest of the pieces in the sink. I smirked.

"I'm not crazy. I'm strong enough not to let trauma affect me that way. I can reason, and though I have my moments, in the end I control my own actions. No emotions or insanity get in the way of that." After she'd finished cleaning the floor of the mess, Nameless slapped her hands together and glanced at me once more. "But what exactly did you have in mind?"

"All the Runners I need eliminated are in that folder." Well, actually not the Runners that I needed eliminated... More like the Runners that Thuggee needed eliminated. At the moment, I didn't feel like that little piece of information was necessary to disclose.

"Nolan Beck. Dan Chilton. Ryan Leopold. Adam Wayne. John Smith. Hehehe a few other kids with silly names that they fabricated for themselves when they began running. Oh," I slapped the fridge, snickering,
"and a few Proxies, a few government agents, and well... Spoilers! Hehe I'll let you be surprised. Read up,"

I slid my hands into my pockets and sauntered over to her, "Have you been taking notes??? I don't like repeating myself. It's simple enough right? Just kill them and avoid being caught! If you need anything... Like I said... Ask and you shall receive." I could feel my focus slipping, and my impatience growing. I started to walk towards the exit of the kitchen. I suddenly had a desire to cut something open. Hehe.

Nameless nodded, sliding the folder across the table and holding it up against her chest. "I can remember...And where will you be going?"


"The looney house, of course! I've got to brew something special for my darling Lady." My tone was light and cheerful. Possibly a little ominous?

"Lemon-port Asylum is great this time of year, I hear." I tapped the walls as I practically danced towards the entrance of the hideout.

"One last thing," I coughed, calling back, "if your friend hinders your progress, I'll infect him with a flesh eating virus." I coughed again, jokingly. Opening the front door, I stepped outside and felt something evil embrace me. I was consumed by a distorted shadow. A pile of black leaves remained where I had once stood, symbolizing my departure into a much darker place.

STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT EPISODE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. Will TheAdvocate find true love? Will Nameless survived her genetic alteration? Is a bullet-proof mask a smart idea?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME!

Hehe... that was fun. I really should be on TV...

Talk to you soon, boys and girls.
~tA

A Dog Stuck In A Tree

Hello kids, did ya miss me? Things have been quiet, haven't they? Hehe Thuggee likes to call it the calm before the storm. I prefer to call it BORING. Seriously, I don't know how he manages to post so little! If I had as much free time as he does, I would be updating on a daily basis! But alas, I am a busy man. The summer has been glorious, hasn't it? I've got quite a few things to talk about before I depart for the night.

First things first, Doctor Proctor-- Or should I say, Doctor Black? Hehehe... Doctor Black is finally getting in touch with his "true-self". Mid-life crisis level 99, if you ask me. ;)

Anyways, Slappy, I've been considering your offer for a while now and I think I've come to a fair decision. Do you wear a toupee? No? I guess I knew the answer all along, really, considering that we once shared a host body... Does your new host body wear a toupee? Oh, and by the way YES. That's my answer. Yes. However, in actuality I say no. That's my real answer. So the answer is yes and no. Hey hey hey, now don't get flustered yet! I know that you expected me to suddenly become your best friend, but the fact that we were both Thuggee's tools and that we're practically the same person (Or were, depending on what perspective you'd like to take on the subject) doesn't really matter to me right now. Let me explain what I mean. 

Yes, I agree to a truce. I will not kill you. You will not kill me. Heck, we may even work together on a chemical concoction or two... but that doesn't mean we're team-mates. Don't take it personally, I'm just not one for choosing sides. You should know this by now! 

Call me selfish, but I really only work for my own personal gain. Hehehe look at me, I'm being so straight-forward today! WOO! You know what that means? I'm cutting somebody's ears off today!

Anyways, what was I saying? 

Right. Yes, I won't kill you. No, I'm not going to join you and Shady and your team of Avengers. I'm not going to "fight for the greater good" or aid you in your lunacy. Well, okay maybe I'll budge on the lunacy. Hehehe.

We may be "brothers", but that doesn't mean we're family. Which is a good thing for you, considering the fact that I don't play well with family members. I mean, I killed mommy and daddy (Your mommy and daddy, too, since we were the same person then) and... well, I can't remember what I did to the rest of our relatives. They probably got stiffed too. I don't recall.

You know, it is pretty neat how the mind works, wouldn't you agree? For so long, I had a bunch of black holes in my memory that I could never place, but you filled in all the blanks! Hehehe we had a lot of fun when we were a kid, Doc! I'm surprised the Tall Man visited you so often. I guess he was attracted to my personality, ya? ;) I'm very charismatic. That's what Shady thinks.

So yeah, thanks for meeting with me! I think we're both mildly happy that I didn't kill you on sight. 

Thuggee was pretty peeved, and probably a little surprised, when I was able to resist his control over the host body. Hoo boy, he was causing quite a thunderstorm up in ye' old noggin'. What a headache! He certainly did NOT approve of our conversation. Not one bit. He wanted to cut our negotiations short, but Lord knows you can't tame a wild mind like mine.

Ha, to be honest, Thuggee was starting to lose his grip days before our little business meeting. He was getting sloppy. His memories have been slipping into my dreams since the attack on the Haven, but I never realized that I was seeing behind a curtain until I started getting these weird thoughts...

Does "Overthrowing gods and kingdoms" seem like the kind of thing I'd fantasize about while strolling through the back alleys of a city? Haha.

Anyways, Thuggee and I wrestled for control a smidgen after you left and then we finally decided to talk it out like a pair of gentlemen. As EQUALS. He's not such a bad guy, Doc, once you get passed the whole "psychotic megalomaniac god" bit. He's a tad misunderstood, really. Hehehe.

Long story short, we shook on a lucrative deal  and I am now the ONLY resident of our old host body! NO ROOMMATES ALLOWED! Ha, finally.

Oddly enough, I feel like Thuggee took a portion of my remaining sanity when he transferred to his new host.  Feels like I just drank a refreshing glass of iced water! Hohoho, Merry Christmas!

EVERYBODY IS A SICK PUPPY TONIGHT, BOYS AND GIRLS!

I'm going to bring this post to conclusion soon, BUT DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL! I'll be posting again before the night is over, little doves! 

Until I finish up my second post for the evening, go kill something. I expect to hear a full report upon my return! HAHA!

~tA